Life, 1914-04-09 · page 36 of 40
Life — April 9, 1914 — page 36: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertising and filler content** rather than political satire. The main elements are: **Advertisements:** - Blue Peter Cigarettes ($2.50 per hundred) - Contrexéville Water (a French mineral water marketed for treating gout and rheumatism) - "Zustain Rye" whiskey (bottom) - Patent/invention service ads **Editorial Content:** The "Where Knowledge is Misery" essay is humorous *social commentary* rather than political satire. It describes the author's anxiety after learning that blood circulates through the body in 90 seconds—creating existential dread about this unstoppable bodily process. The piece uses personification of red and white blood corpuscles as hardworking versus lazy workers in a "merry-go-round" system. **The Information Bureau** section addresses readers' questions about bodily functions (corset curves, white corpuscles). There are **no identifiable political figures or caricatures**. This appears to be a typical early-20th-century *Life* magazine page mixing light humor about science and bodily awareness with commercial advertisements.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
CPFE $2.50 a Hundred, Our patented paraffine box keeps Blue BLUE PETER CIGAR! UNlTOWN BRANCH, 1578 Broadway, Near 4#ih St. ETTE CO., 76 Beaver St., N. Y. a Where Knowledge is Misery P to within a comparatively recent period we who pen these lines had been of a happy and contented disposition, performing our simple duties with gladness and resting quietly after our labors with a heartfelt sense of gratitude, But the other day we happened to read in the encyclopedia that a certain portion of the blood traverses the entire circulation system in half a minute. You couldn't stop it from doing so, even if you tries It will go on and on, dancing about inside of you in spite of everything you say or do. Since then, so far as we our- selves are concerned, «all. has been changed. How can anyone rest, we process like that going on inside, and absolutely no let-up? It appe that the rest of the blood only takes about a minute and a half at the outside. It would probably take a trifle longer in the case of a man over six feet high. Some of the cor- puseles like to lag behind and make an attempt at least to view the scenery. We cannot help but admire them for that. That is what we should do if we were there. But consider for a moment the hopelessness of being per- mitted to sit down by the wayside for a few moments’ rest. We know, of course, the argument used for this sort of mad rush—where you are traveling over the same route every minute or so, no matter how fast you go, you get to know it; you can tell by instinct when there is a “thank ” right ahead, and by con- over it; you ask, with you, marm,” stant practice slide WANTED—AN IDEA! ¥te,cen think of some simple thing | to patent! Protect your Ideas, they may bring you wealth, Write for" Needed Inventions’ and Paten 1 Your Mone; teat Attorwers, Dept, CONTREXEVILLE SOURCE DU PAVULON WATER THE STRENS OF MODERN LIFE EXACTS ITS FENALTINS LN ACID EXCESS. GIVING RUSE TO URIC ACID TROUBLES RHEUMATISM GOUT GRAVEL, ETC. THE USE OF CONTREXEVILLE WATER WILL BE OF BENEFIT -ASK YOUR PHYSICIAN- Wasbtegion, B,C | | | ‘Sold by all Grocers and Draggists and MORRIS & SCHRADER, Distributors 8 Barclay Street, New York THE INFORMATION BUREAU can brace yourself for curves and corners. It appears also that there are two kinds of contestants in this ceaseless merry-go-round ; namely, the red and white corpuscles, The white ones are the laggards, and that, by the ts what we would be We don't know how many miles long the route is, but at any rate, the white corpuscles take as much time as they can—about a minute and a half The red fellows are at them all the time, urging theni on, grabbing them by the coat, push ing them from behind, saying rude and boisterous things to them) When they all come to a straightaway, the red corpuscles shout out: “Step up im front, please. Plenty of room ahead!” Sometimes there is a strike among the whites, and they all try to sit down, one white corpuscle begins preaching the doctrine of non-resistance, and being a kind of genius in his way, makes an impression upon his period, With | he Highe The | unshine H ‘What wo comicbooks.com