Life — April 2, 1914 — page 48: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Fair Play Two motorists, having almost ruined their tempers—and their tires—in a vain attempt to find a hotel with a vacant bed, were at last forced to make the best of a small inn. Even then they had to share a bed, which was—and on this the landlord laid great stress—a_feather- bed. They turned in, and one of the pair was soon fast asleep. The other was not. He could not manage to dodge the lumps. and heard hour after hour strike on the church clock until three. Then he vio- lently shook his snoring friend _ “What's the matter?" growled the sleeper. “It can't be time to get up etl” “No, it isn’t,” retorted his friend, con- tinuing to shake him, “but it’s my turn to sleep on the feather! "—Everybody’'s. The Cabby and His Bible An Edinburgh cabman was driving an American round the sights of the north- crn city, In High Street he stopped, and with a wave of bis. whip announced: “That is John Knox's house.” “John Knox!” exclaimed the American. “ Who was he?" This was too much for the cabby. “Good heavens, man!" he ex- claimed. “Did you never read your Bible? "—Westminster Gazette. <A Sherbet ts made tasty and dolightfal by using Abbott's Bittera, Sample of bittera by mall, 2 cte in stamps. ©. W. Abbots @ Co., Baltimore, Md. Amateur Actor: How did you like my Hamlet last night? Critic: Like it? My dear fellow, I can honestly say that in the opening scene of the fourth act you were as good as Forbes-Robertson. Amateur Actor: in that scene. Critic: No; neither docs Forbes- Robertson.—Boston Transcript. But I didn’t appear Portfolio Photography What would you not give for a picture of your son or daughter or some one equally dear toyou? De- ferred intentions often cause regrets. Photographic likenesses in the latest art portfolio mountings insuring permanent preservation are the specialty of Francisca Bostwick. . Your time and convenience not intruded upon. Appointments for studio or home sittings by correspondence. Highest references. Francisca Bostwick 19 West 31st Street, New York. FOR _g MEN OF BRAINS IGARS “MADE AT KEY WEST— @s) HUNTER & ALTIMORE RYE THE RICHEST PRODUCT OF THE BE: OF MARYLAND'S FAMOUS DISTILLERIES Sold at all first-class cafes and by jobbers. ‘WM. LANAHAN & SON, Baltimore, Md. Could Be Trusted There is a certain Ohio judge whose wit has enlivened many a dull case. On cne occasion, counsel made in his court this statement on behalf of a plaintiff of somewhat bibulous appearance : “ My client, your honor, is a most re- markable man, and holds a very respon- sible position: he is manager of a water- works.” After a survey of the client, His Honor replied : “Yes; he looks like a man who could be trusted with any amount of water.” —Lippincott’s. Comfort Without Extravagance, Hotel Woodstock, New York Kindness “Is she good to the children?” “Very. She lets them do everything their father doesn't want them to do.” —Detroit Free Press. She: Now, von’t you BE somiclooks|