Life — April 2, 1914 — page 33: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

obtain such cashes?” require Nogi with yearning expression peculiar to Charley Murphy. “So simplicity!” I narrate. “All you need do is to fly around the world.” “to lie around the world?” he confuse. “Dumskull! I say ‘fly around’ with cleared voice,” I holla peevly. “This seem great simplicity,” cor- rode my cousin, “It are like death, love & roller-skating—quite easy to accomplish when you can do it. What movements must you make before en- tering that cloudy boat-race?” “Firstly,” I dictate, “you must write pleasant letter of corespondence to Hon, Al Hawley, Pres Aero Club of America. In this must sa; “*Dear Al—I are thinking of flying around the world and want your sym- pathy. I have no airship, cannot fly and am minus sifficient cash to take lessons, Otherwisely I am perfectly prepared. Hon, Orv Wright say, “Nerve are most important thing in flying.” We got sifficiently plenty of that fuel to arrive anywheres. Kindly to please send me maps showing posi- tion of Atlantic Ocean, Europe, ete., in erder that I shall not fly to wrong place while doing so. Should politely like to know on what date Hon. Race start, so I shall be there with airship or some other form of bicycle. Con- siderable Frenchmans say it are impos- sible to fly over Pacific Ocean. Per- lapsly, Yet do not feel discouridged until you see me. My cousin Nogi listen to that con- versation I said it. “Have Hon. Wanamaker got plenty sificient airship for this across-ocean fly?” Nogi nextly require. “T have not seen it with my own observation,” I oblique, “yet I think maybe. You can get nearly everything in department stores.” “Yet I have looked for airships in dept stores and never found one,” he snubject. “T have oftenly had same trouble looking for shoebuttons there,” I nar- rate, “yet it is no sign you can't find it if you know head floorwalker, I am sure this Wanamaker flapper will contain all white goods, whalebone etc. “It are the finish which are apt to look lonesome necessary for flight. Hon. Rod Wana- maker can borrow everything from ther and never know difference.” “Father Wanamaker do not believe in sparing the Rod,” snuggest Nogi for slightly humorous joke. “Everything that flies will be sup- plied to that boat by department store: gasolene from grocery dept, money from banking dept, army aviators from war dept. Luxury peculiar to Thos W Lawson will be found in that boat sliding on clouds.” “Tt are nice to be comfortable while being killed,” Nogi gallop. “Not much death is to be expected on that trip,” I say forth, “Airships over ocean are more safer than steam- boats on sea.” “How can you make such lies sound truthful?” Nogi abuse. “Well so!” I computate. “Ocean airships contain only two (2) persons, ocean liners contain 5000. Acroplanes has never drowned more than 2 at a 597 time—yet what is that compared to 5,000 what can be dipped at every ice- berg?” “ Aviation should not be discouridged by that!” snuggest Noj “ Already Russian fly-man has invented aerobus equal to killing 15 at once.” “Science shall yet accomplish great things,” I corrode. “In considerable months I shall not wonder if airship- pers will round-trip globe each day, merely to save car-fare.” “When that swift date arrive, what next can be accomplished in flighty avigation?” my ignoramulous cousin require. “Hon. Wm R. Hearst might offer billion dollars for first airman who flies to moon without stopping on the way.” This from me. “Who would start on such race?” he narrate. “In races similar to that,” I com- mute, “it are not difficult to start, It are the finish which are apt to look lonesome. Nogi stand numfounded. Hoping you are the sa Yours truly Hasuimera Toco, (Per Wallace Irwin.) Bed ONSOLER of our toils and strife, Of weary fect and aching head, We solve the problem of our life In hed ne Relief from trammelling attire, Which like unrighteous rags we shed, The simple life that we desire Is hed, We leave the things that merely seem, The husks on which our souls are fed, To taste the living food of dream In bed. From distnal bores and friendships vain, Too little done and too much said— From pain, we fly to counterpane, In bed. APA, what is a religious preju- dice?” “The convictions of some one else, my son. comicbooks.com