Life, 1914-02-26 · page 26 of 40
Life — February 26, 1914 — page 26: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three satirical pieces mocking social attitudes of the era: **"An Unheard of Statement"** ridicules Paterson's Mayor Fordyce for claiming women aren't intellectual equals. The satire is biting: the author sarcastically suggests the Mayor has never observed women managing department stores, weddings, or millinery shops—implying women clearly *are* intellectually capable. The piece supports women's suffrage and education access. **The Crawford/Crasshaw exchange** is a joke playing on anxiety about sex education in schools, suggesting theatrical content requires prior instruction. **"Telephone Emancipation"** humorously complains about unwanted phone calls from neighbors and acquaintances interrupting privacy—suggesting stuffing cotton in the telephone's vibrator. The author admits this is fantasy ("a longing bluff"), making the piece a comedic lament about modern intrusion rather than serious advice. All three pieces reflect early 20th-century debates over women's rights, education, morality, and technology's social disruption.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“LIFE? An Unheard of Statement sere is evidently something serious the matter with the new Mayor of Paterson. Recently, in explaining to the Paterson Woman Suffrage League why he failed to appoint women on the Board of Education, he said: “I do not regard women as the intel- lectual equals of men!” Shades of Sappho! When did he get such a notion? Has Mayor Fordyce never been inside of a modern department store and seen the wide intellectual appeal made to women? Has he never attended a modern wedding, the management of which women are responsible for? Has he never been in a milliner’s establishment, at a thé dansant, or a woman's club caucus? The report in the newspapers of this interview states that the delegation of women who appeared before the Paterson Mayor were much “taken aback” by his state- ment. We should say so. The idea that any man should dare to tell an American woman that she is not intellec- tually superior! It’s too paralyzing for words! CRAWFORD? What makes you think it is necessary to give sex instruction in the schools? CrassHaw: How else could the children understand the plays when they go to the theatres? = THE POPULAR COMEDIAN'S BEST EFFORTS FELL FLAT “NEVER MIND IF YOU are BLIND. THIS BOOK HAS BEEN SPECIALLY PRINTED IN RAISED LETTERS FOR YOUR BENEFIT” Telephone Emancipation c is not generally realized what peace, what freedom, what felicity can be obtained by a little bit of cotton wadding stuck into the vibrator of the telephone bell. Why not? I have a telephone in the house in order that I may summon the doctor, the fire department, or the police, and send orders to the grocery. 7 I do not pay for that telephone in order that careless Jones may learn when our committee meets, or inquisitive Smith may inquire who has moved into the Taylor house, or Brown may ask me for a subscription to the parson’s auto, or Robinson may invite me to address his Sunday school, or Cole may discover whether Mark Twain's books are published by Harper’s or Scribner's. I want that telephone when I want it, not when a dozen acquaintances and strangers want it. It is a convenience, not an inconvenience; a tool, not a bore. Hence the wad of cotton, and my telephone emancipa- tion. (P. S. This is all a longing bluff. There is no wad of cotton.) Amos R. Wells. “a comicbooks.com