Life — February 19, 1914 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

CASCADE PURE WHISKY The Reason Why Intention—material—skill—time. This is the whole secret of Cascade's genuine superiority. HAREM “SOME HUSSY, NO DOUBT, NON OF “ERP It Happened in the Dictionary ZOUAVE with a zebra, On a zero night in June, Wooed a Zulu on a zebu, "Neath a zingaroguish moon; In his zeal he strummed a zither, Called as witness Mister Zeus, As he told his Zulu Lulu That he loved her like the deuce. “You're a zany,” she retorted, “For your name begins h Z, There's another zone for lovers That look’s very good to me”; Then the zebu zig-zagged onward, Left the Zouave in a daze, While the fickle Zulu maiden Sought a husband in the A’s. H. S. Haskins, The Procession NE bright, balmy day a Scarehead was walking along a road when he met a State Legislature, lolling by the wayside. “Hello,” said the Scarehead; “ bet- ter get up and come along with me.” “Where are you going?” “Tam going over the hills into the Great Beyond.” So they both went along together. After they had gone a little while they met the Drama playing in a sewer at the corner of the next road. The Drama was covered with dirt and mud, and having a grand old time. Ev once in a while some nice young would come up, and the Drama would spatter her all over and then laugh. “Come along with us,” said the Scarehead and the State Legislature. “The other side of that hill is the Great Beyond.” So the Drama joined the other two and they went merrily along together. They hadn't gone very far before they met the Servant Problem. The Servant Problem was tearing its hair and stamping around, and then every once in a while it would throw itself upon the ground and insist upon doing nothing. When it saw the three com- ing alone it said “Unless you have all the modern im- provements, including two baths on the roof, electric fans in the laundry, a piano in the kitchenette, and four nights a week off, there is no use in talking with m “Tut, tut,” said the Scarehead, “ you need a vacation, anyw and besides we have got something on hand that is worth while.” So the Servant Problem went along with the rest. Pretty soon they heard a great shout ahead, and there was the School Fad, busily engaged in tearing down a lovely little schoolhouse and outting wn an- With a “Nulife” Belt ABDOMINAL * BELT is a health belt in the truest sense. Comfortable to wear. Reduces your abdomen 5 inches or more instantly and supports the back and spine. Gives you a rest-cure while you work and makes you 100% fit every hour of the day, fend $3 and your waist measure today and receive the Nalife Abdominal Belt prepaid and teed. Send for booklet today. It's fr PROF. CHAS, MUNTER, (Dept. 144) 141 West 36th Street, New York (ity other in its place, consisting of moving picture, phonetic spelling, bricks, rag- time rafters and several other new- fangled notions, “Come along with us,” said the ehead. “ We need you to make us think we are educated.” So the School Fad joined the others, and they all went along together. Pretty soon they met Tammany Hall, ) _ the Editorial Page, A White Slave, s 1 1 v ; | a I | t | t | | | , (