Life, 1914-02-12 · page 3 of 44
Life — February 12, 1914 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **commercial advertising** rather than satirical content. The main feature is a Franklin Simon & Co. advertisement for women's coats, showing two models in fashionable English "Outing Coats" typical of the early 20th century. The left column contains a romantic poem titled "Valentine" by Clinton Stellard, unrelated to satire, along with a humorous dialogue titled "During the Overture" about opera patrons—gentle social comedy rather than political satire. Below are advertisements for a postal card machine and calls for actors in motion pictures—standard commercial notices. The only substantive editorial content is a brief article titled "Very Annoying," which critiques Congressman Lewis of Maryland for gathering statistics about telephones and telegraphs, mocking such bureaucratic busywork. This represents mild political humor rather than sharp satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Valentine EVER a bird in song The white day long; Never a sweet low trill From the fettered rill; And yet how song will stir \t the thought of her! Never a glint of bloom In the frosty gloom ; Never a leaf asway In the brief gray day; Yet all earth buds and blows Where'er she goes! Yea, she is song and flower Through each winter hour, The glory and glamor and gleam Of the vernal dream ;— Sweet, take this song of mine For Valentine! Clinton Scollard. During the Overture WEET THING: I just love music! Her Apmurer: Yes? I dote on symphonies. Of course. But I love opera most. Ah! I just adore being here! H. A. (coolly, people in nearby seats glaring Do you? 5. Music always makes me feel well—I can’t express it, but it makes me feel—I feel it—I feel it—a part of my inner being! H. A.: Do you? S. T.: There is something about it— H. Yes (thinking of the price of the seats). S.T.: It enchains me—I revel in it! H. A.: Uh, huh, S. T.: Oh! Isn't it wonderful to he here drinking in this melody in which I glory! Oh! I love music! Brura Man (leaning forward from next row back): Pardon me—did it ever occur to you to listen to it? F, Maude Smith. 50 PROFIT! FOR ONE MAN IN ONE DAY, PLOT S Motion Pie PLAY S Yes Foe TW them, Manufacturers now paying $25 to $100 for ‘each you how to write and sell them. No pre- cece experience necessary. Write now for free detaila, ASSOCUTED MOTION FICTCRE SCTOOLS, 674) Sberidan Read, Chicago Franklin Simon & Co.- Fifth Ave., 37th and 38th Sts., New York New Spring Models at Special Prices English € oli Coats MISSES’, 14 TO 20 YEARS. WOMEN'S, 32 TO 44 BUST. No. 60. Balmacaan Coat. Slip-on raglan mod- el of smart over p KE lish coating ; in tan, brown, green, red, navy or delft blue colorings; also black and white or brown and white hand woven Scotch homespuns; sleeves and body soft silk lined, con- vertible collar (can be worn with open revers), flat, mannish cuffs, side pockets and horn buttons. Value $29.50 18.50 No. 62. Dressy Outing Coat, with new ripple flare and sash, of English corded velour in maize. moss green, tango, delft blue or ivory, with soft draped collar; facings and gauntlet cuffs of all. silk duvetyn in harmonizing shades, also of all white corded velour, lined throughout with soft silk. Value $45.00 29.50 ee Very Annoying T was deucedly thoughtless of Congressman Lewis, of Maryland, to gather all those I revealing statistics about telephones and telegraphs. Where ignorance is bliss, ‘tis folly to find out that our telegraphic rates are the highest among twenty countries and that, as one consequence thereof, we rank but ninth as telegraph users. And of course it is no less disturbing to discover that in the matter of local telephone charges, we rank but fourteenth among sixteen countries. But it is done now and the only thing left is to think about it as little as possible. To brood over the matter would simply end in our having to do something and that in turn might disarrange some of our most cherished dividend-paying traditions, Everybody knows that the proper way to have telephones and telegraphs is to make dividends the chief desideratum. Now, then, let everybody close his or her mind and let there be an end on't. E.0. J. comicbooks.com