Life — February 5, 1914 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

i THE ELECTRO-PORTABLE This atest addition to ° Heisey’s ) Glassware marks a new and wonderful epoch in the evo- lution of Ye Old Colonial Candle Stick. It combines the lighting efficiency of the 20th Century with the charming atmosphere of Great Grandmother Days. Makes an ad- mirable addition to desk, table or dresser. Two sizes—19 inches and 21 inches over all. If your dealer cannot supply this Electro- Portable, we will deliver, prepaid, East of the Mississippi River, the smaller size for $3.75, the larger size for $4.75, without shade or bulb; West of the Mississippi River—add 50c. Insist on having this ) trademark on the glass- ware you buy—then you have high quality without bi & Our free book contains helpful hints for ‘Write for a copy. A. H. HEISEY & CO. Derr. ot NEWARK, O10 AFTER ADVISING A DOSE OF CASTOR OIL, THE DOCTOR LOOKS AT WILLIE'S TONGUE—AND IS SHOCKED Insisted His Eggs be “*Lim'nated” Is this story new? The Ellsworth, Kas., Messenger tells it: Three traveling companions, Gray. Brown and Green, were breakfasting at a hotel in the South. Gray ordered coffee, rolls, creamed potatoes, bacon and fried exgs; Brown told the waiter he might duplicate the order for him, and Green said: “You may bring me the same, all but the eggs—you may eliminate the eggs.” In duc time the waiter appeared with the breakfast of Gray and Brown, which he served; then, stepping round to Green, he said in a conciliatory voice: “We got fricd eggs, an’ poached eggs, an’ boiled eggs, an’ scrambled cggs, an’ om'let, sah, but we ain't got no ‘liminated eggs.” Well,” said Green, “my doctor says my eggs must be eliminated. Have it done at once, and hurry up my break- fast.” Presently the waiter was back again, but without the breakfast. “The cook says to tell you, sah,” he “he jes’ can’t ‘liminate no eggs * said Green, in ap- “T never before was at a parent anger, hotel where I could not have my eggs climinated. Go tell the cook that, and tell him to eliminate those eggs double sudden, or I shall complain to the man- ager.” way went the waiter, but returned almost immediately, followed by the cook. “T come to 'splain to you myse’f ‘bout For the new bound volume of Lire for 1913 which is now ready. Of course, you don’t want the loose copies scattered all over the house, where they are Beet to be read by irresponsible people. You want them permanently confined in a handsome binding for your library shelf. $4, or $2 if you. return the copies. Drop us a line for full particulars. We do the Lire, 17 West 31, New York Ci EMTALA AAT “Isn’t This Splendid!” There never was a trip to compare with these five delightful days at sea between New York and New Orleans Southern Pacific Steamships 10,600 tons; luxurious Suites, State. rooms, Baths and Promenade Decks. $40.00 one way; $70.00 round trip; one way rail if you wish, including berth and reals ‘on steamer. At New Orleans board the “Sunset Limited” Every Day—No Extra Fare Solid Pullman Train, with through Dining and Observation Cars. New Orleans — Los Angeles. San Francisco “The Exposition Line—1915" Rock ballasted roadbed, oil burning locomotives, automatic electric signals, Write for illustrated booklets. on! and ree had $12 ing sug com and halt thai sun owr y very whe Ree is tray ther tray to | dee poir dem eggs, sab,” said the excited chef “T ain't been here on'y a week, an’ I don’ wan’ to lose my job an’ dis is de ve'y fi'st ordah I had foh’ ‘lim'nated egss since I come. I was goin’ to ‘lim'nate “em right off, but when I looked ‘round for de ‘lim'nater, dey ain't got none. Co’se I can’t ‘lim'nate eggs ‘thout 3 ‘Tim’nater, but I's goin’ to have the boss git one this ve'y day, an’ if you'll ‘scuse me this mawnin’, nex’ time you come I'll suah ‘lim'nate yo’ eggs better'n yo've evah had ‘em ‘lim’nated befo'!” —Kansas City Star omicbookerc on fises that kno unb fina in | Nev orpl they The Perl 80 i Jest, Soeptn