Life — February 5, 1914 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Of all glad words That now are roared, The gladdest are these “ He works for Ford —Detroit Free Press. Aw old farmer on his first visit to New York thought he would go to the theatre and sce the play called “ Forty Thieves”. When he got to the theatre he asked the man at the box-office if they were playing the “Forty Thieves” there, and on being informed they were, and without asking the price of the seats, told the box-office man that he wanted a tip-top seat, and laid a five-dollar bill down... The box-office man laid the ticket down and three dollars in change. The farmer (accustomed to twenty-five-cent shows) picked up the three dollars and walked off without his ticket, whereupon the box-office man shouted, “See here, sir! You've forgotten your ticket.” The farmer shouted back: “Keep it, gol darn yer! I don’t want to see the other thirty-nine."—Argonaut. “SAY, IS THERE ANY MORE ARTISTS IN THIS STUDIO BUILDING? MUCH OF THIS ONE” DIDN'T THINK Unpromising Pror. (in geology): The geologist thinks nothing of a thousand years. Sorn.: Great Guns! And I loaned a geologist ten dollars yesterday! —Pennsylvania Punch B Arter a closely contested election a darky told how a Republican worker had come to him and said: See here, Sam, you got four sons that can vote and your vote will make five. Now, you all vote the Republican ticket, and here are eleven dollars for you" “All right, boss,” said Sam, with a grin, taking the moncy. “We'll all be on han’, suh.” Then the Democratic heeler found Sam and said: “Sam, you and your boys all vote the Democratic ticket, and here are seven dollars for you. But, mind you, you be on hand.” “ Yass, sub,” said Sam, as he pocketed the boodle, “ we'll vote all right, cunncl.” After the election, being asked how he had voted, he said he had voted the Democratic ticket. “ But.” said the other, “didn’t the Republicans xive you eleven dollars to vote their way, while the Democrats gave you only seven? You ought to have voted for the party that gave you the most money.” “No, sah,” said Sam. “ You see, de 'Publicans offer de mos’ money, an’ dey is de mos’ corrupter. I votes for de least corrupter.” —Argonaut. LAvE ‘s published every Thursday, simultaneously 9 the G Vowsessions. $5.00 2 yearin advance Adkitional postage to foreiyra counties ia the Powal Union, $1.08 a sear: to Canada, © ce le current copies, 10 cents, buck wotbers, alter three menths iron: date of publication, Been. Issue 20 out offprint No contriduti 11 accompanied by stamped and addresses envelope, AAP does not hold itseS reipe ee ssi Mer tlMrn OF WMIeiiCed COME OMELORE, Britain, Canada and Betich for se by all sewsdealers in Great and may be obtained from booksellers fn all the pris Bs the work. ‘The foreign trade supplied {rom LIFES London Office. Rells House, Heeams Build EC are copyrighted. For Repri of ater !VIYELLA FLANNEL New Spring Designs for 1914 “ Viyella”’ can be obtained at all leading retail stores A large range of plain colors, Stripes! Plaids! AVOID SUBSTITUTES! Facsimile of label on each 2! yard “Viyella” (Rexd.) DOES NOT SHRINK DOES NOT SHRINK DAY SHIRTS, PYJAMAS, etc. A Trade Mark Worth Remembering Fac-simile of label stamped on every three yards of each piece. For Sale at Leading Retail Stores comicbooks.com 1 in Great Britain apply te Lave,