Life — January 29, 1914 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

i a | j i She Was No Easy Mark Martha is seven, and has shown more than the ordinary childish aversion to learning lessons, being washed, and hav- ing curls made smooth and shining, and less than the average delight in fairy- tales. One day upon her return from Sunday-school she was questioned as to what she had learned from her nice teacher this time. She cried out with flashing eyes and an indignant toss of her pretty head, “ Why, Mamma, my teacher told me to-day that story about the Children of Israel walking across the Red Sea and not getting theirselves wet one single bit—and she es-pected me to believe it!"—Lippincott’s. Squaring Himself AN Soat;who was ‘nervous and inexperi: enced rose hurriedly at the conclusion of a song’one’of his guests had given. “ Ladies and—er—gentlemen,” he said, “before Mr. M. began he asked me to apologize for his voice, but I omitted to do so—er—so—I—er—apologize now!” —Tit-Bits. Tommy; 1 WANT ANOTHER BOX OF THOSE PILLS, LIKE WHAT I COT FOR MOTHER YESTERDAY. Druggist: DID YOUR MOTHER SAY THEY WERE Coop? “NO, BUT THEY JUST FIT MY AIR-GUN.” Smith in the weck was dull enough, God knows, But doubly dull upon the Sabbath grows. An iron gong invites that soul of tin, A soul too gray for splendor of a sin. Sure of a heaven, he hears the tinkling bell, But has not yet ascended to a hell. What weight is this that heavier makes the air? Hush! ‘Tis the load of Smith's as- cended prayer Kecoiling back on him from Sabbath cloud, Returning on him, though his knee be bowed. Each week-day Smith respectably can thieve, But on the Sabbath would his God de- ceive. He kneels to pray, but ere his prayer has ceased, Rises in fear his breeches may be creased ; Later his wife, from mundane matters free, Purring her Sabbath scandal, pours the tea. Oh, for some winnowing blast to swirl away The moldering mummery of our Sab- bath day! —Stephen Phillips, in Lyrics and Dramas. falted States, Great Reitain. Canada and British 1 is for sale by all newsdealers in Great Beital may be cbtalned trom sellers in alt the principal wilt be ye fons or wow-return ef unsolicited Contribution! Fontalote, Ss 4 ‘Ainnal poste 19 foriga coaatres in the Poval Union, fice a year: clea of the world.” “The reign trade supplied trom LIPE'S Landon OMer, Rots Howe, Rrestos Belding to Canada, S2 cents. Single current copies, 10 cents. Hack numbers, after three months from date of publication, London, E. C. ” “ $3 Cena "hsoes pri t fo out ol prt irmed unless accompanied by stamped and addressed envelope, VAR does mot The text and itustrogions in Lek are copyrighted. For Reprint Rights + LN Southampion Kow, London, Pen waritteri cheat be nal ty eubiceteta of wih change wd reat Rritain apply t Lave, | NEW YORK America’s Latest and Most Refined and New York's Centermost Hotel NOW OPEN Only hotel occupying an entire city block, Vanderbilt and Madison Avenues, 43rd and 44th Streets, adjoining Grand Central Terminal. 1000 ROOMS OPEN TO OUTSIDE AIR 950 WITH BATH ROOM RATES FROM $2.50 PER DAY Suites from 2 to 15 rooms for permanent occupancy Large and small Ball, Banquet and Dining Salons and Suites specially arranged for public or private functions. GUSTAV BAUMANN President JOHN McE. BOWMAN Vice-President popular style- tisanew