Life — January 22, 1914 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

repre esema Ahir 25 a on PRE DESCENT OF MAN Bulletin of Nineteen Fourteen O sooner did the year nineteen fourteen arrive than it was turned over to the authorities for microscopic scrutinization, To the laymen who happened to be awake at the time, nineteen fourteen looked practically the same as other years, but what will be revealed by its thumb-prints and its car-marks and its blood pressure and its bacteria count and its qualitative analysis? All this is work for experts who, needless to say, are hard at work upon the various tests and results will be bulletined just as fast as the re- turns come in. In addition to the experts alluded to, other specialists will be put to work along their particular lines. A phren- olc will examine the child’s bumps. This is expected to yield valuable data as to the child’s predilection for pets, his fondness for fads and his relative ratio of rationality. A reliable firm of genealogists will climb into the child's family tree, put two and two together and make necessary deduc- tions. Inasmuch, however, as the lineage is very long, most of it ob- scure and much of it shady, reliable results of this investigation will not only be delayed longer than the others, but may have to be whitewashed into the bargain. But, while the genealo- gists are busy on the child's past, trained eugenists will be no less busy peering far into the child’s future. The value of their work will appear as time goes on. Thus has science en- abled ancestry to reach across the brief chasm occupied by the present genera- tion and shake hands with posterity. It goes without saying, of course, that nineteen fourteen will not be al- lowed to mingle among us until it has heen duly vaccinated, antisepticized, and inoculated with all proper viruses, toxins, antitoxins, serums, sincerums, insincerums and other proper in- gredients, medicaments and pharmia- copeiacs. And if this don’t do any good, it may be necessary to operate. E.0.J. occupied a prominent place. His was the lightning, and little children beholding it hurtled across the sky, ran in fear to their mothers, crying out that the “Thunder Oni” had thrust at them. And in the mothers’ hearts also surged super- stitious fear. No terror is greater than that of the Unknown; and the fire of the heavens was but uzknown, untamed electricity. Ignorahce was its target. Today, this dread force, comprehended, captured and controlled, does the bidding of man, propelling electric trucks and pleasure cars. The ower of ‘Raiden’ has been boxed in a compact form called the Storage attery, and the most reliable batteries for electric vehicles are The 4 “Exide” Batteries “Exe, “HyctpeExide™, “ ChiteExide", “ Bronclade Exide” I old Japanese folklore the demon “Raiden, God of Storm,” These batteries have shown themselves, under all sorts of service, superior to every other make. Indeed, so conclusively has this fact been demonstrated that today the majority of manufacturers of electric vehicles—pleasure and commercial—both use and endorse them. Whether you run your “Electric” along the crowded city thoroughfares i i or use it upon suburban drives, you will not get real service satisfaction unless it is equipped with one of the Four Extde"’ Batteries. 886“ Exide '* Distributors 9 ** exide?? Depots * Exide! Inspection Cotps “He Still Had It “Look here, you swindler!” roared Scotch Cream Great Britain’s Standard the owner of the suburban property to the real estate man, “ When you sold me this house, didn't you say that in three months I wouldn't part with it for ten thousand dollars?’ “ Certainly,” said the real estate dealer calmly; “and you haven't, have you?” ies’ Home Journal. “Tuere’s one thing I will say for my first two husbands.” Whiskey for 100 years STRONG & TROWBRIDGE CO. Sole Agents 17 Battery Place, New York “What's that?” “They always paid their alimony promptly."—Detroit Free Press. comicbooks.com