Life — January 22, 1914 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

fH DAW EVNCes THE TANGO TAKING A STEP IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION Why Not Have a Giantosaurus? MONG matters of world interest which our newspapers are sup- posed to chronicle, we have looked in vain for a complete account of the giantosaurus, the skeleton of which was dug up in East Africa about a year ago. We have been hoping that some American millionaire might come for- ward and have this creature’s remains removed to this country. At present we are short of giantosau- ruses. We have several dinosauruses and a diplodocus, which Mr. Carnegie has had mounted and placed in Pitts- burgh as a memorial to his work as an office boy for the Steel Trust. The giantosaurus to which we refer in no unkindly spirit is a member of the lizard family, and measures in his stockings about one hundred and sixty feet. If our memory serves us, he is one of the longes@ lizards discovered. We know something about lizards, as we have been employed in a Kentucky distillery, and also one winter in Florida. As a rule lizards come in pairs. The one caught in East Africa may have * LEP E* had several brothers and sisters who are now undoubtedly missing because they may have-strayed away into other soils where they could not be well pre- served. The: one found was rather thin, having been without food for ten or fifteen million years, In real life he may have been twice as long. When a lizard dies :he loses about half his length, in the form of a tail which he drags along behind on the floor, or else carries hung .carelessly over one arm. The lizard is a very bashful animal, and if interrupted too suddenly will change color rapidly and stammer something -unintelligible. Not so the diplodocus, who has, if we may say so, all. the nerve of the true American. Diplodocuses were at one time-com- mon all over the western slope of this country, They were frequently known to come up to the parlor-car window and eat out of the hand of the mult millionaire who was bonding the rail- road, not realizing who he was. The iplodocus was, however, only about. ninety feet long in his prime. Walking along Fifth Avenue, in company with a giantosaurus, he would present a diminutive figure. Mr. Carnegie, however, has done well to preserve our only specimen, as he is the only survivor of any his- torical change in America not drawing a pension. In spite of this and his forced residence in Pittsburgh, he also has a pleasant disposition. T. L. uM, Not a Scene from Macbeth Nor is it a scene in a Chinese laundry. It is merely three up-to-date scientists inventing a new serum. Having discovered, to their surprise, that a cat with its lungs removed cannot breathe without air, they are about to inoculate a mouse with whooping cough. Tt may result in a new cure for cancer—or fits—or hydrophobia. EDIUM: Your wife is very; very happy on the other side, and wants to know, when you are to join her, how she'll know you among so many. Stnoteray: Well, I'll stumble up the golden stairs some morning about three. LGY: Mother, I may as well tell you the truth, I’ve married a chorus girl. Moruer: you? Atcy: I did it to save father. was desperately;in love with her. Oh! Oh! How could He comicbooks.com