Life, 1914-01-01 · page 36 of 44
Life — January 1, 1914 — page 36: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains mostly **advertisements** for luxury goods (linens, furniture) mixed with satirical content. The main cartoon depicts a **Civil War-era scene**: a soldier urges a general to "get a move on" because "ye don't want to keep the war waitin'!" The humor appears to mock military inefficiency or reluctance—suggesting even the war itself is impatient for the general's action. The dialect and imagery suggest this targets American military leadership during a specific conflict, likely the Civil War. Below is "The Morals of Marcus O'Ptutt," a **satirical advice column** using pseudo-classical names (Epaminondas, Sausagius, etc.) as comedic devices. It delivers cynical social commentary on human nature: mules work backward, cities suffer under bad mayors, sponges don't return what's squeezed from them, and public figures cannot maintain private lives. The tone is mock-philosophical—urbane satire targeting contemporary society's hypocrisies. Both elements reflect *Life* magazine's satirical mission during this era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
a BouesaaoueTke no Sale like this at “The Linen Store” ‘At our Annual January Sales it has heretofore been our custom to select certain lines on which we made important reductions. In addition to these important reductions this year we will allow an extra 10% on every article in our entire range of Housekeep- ing Goods This means that in many cases the reductions tetll amount to as much as 30%. Because of this every one of our 400 patterns in Table Linen is reduced at least 10%. And “reduced prices” at “The Linen Store” means reduced prices. Every one knows that! A price of “$4.00 reduced from $5.00” means that the price is really reduced from $5.00 and that $5.00 is our regular price and fair value anywhere. We are as careful regarding the integrity of our advertising as we are about the reliability of our Linens. The sale includes Table Linens, Bed Linens, Towels, Bed Coverings, Lingerie, Neckwear, Women's Outer Garments, etc. Mlastrated Booklet, quoting prices in detail, free on request. James McCutcheon & Co. Sth Ave., 33d & 34th Sts., New York TT Loe SPECIALLY noteworthy, among, recent creations from the Tobey shops, is an exquisitely wrought tea table of solid St. Jago mahogany. Lovers of beautiful furniture will be inter- ested in visiting, our displays. The Tobey Furniture Company New York: Fifth Avenue at 53rd Street Chicago: Wabash Avenue and Washington Street “YE BETTER GIT A MOVE ON, GEN’RAL. YE DON’T WANT TO KEEP THE WAR WAITIN’! The Morals of Marcus O'Ptutt OME men, O Epaminondas, are very like mules—they hope to show their effectiveness by thrusting their best feet backward. An ill-governed city, my dear Sausagius, always reminds me of a ship at sea suffering intensely from the Mal-de- Mayor. It is a libel on the Sponge, Quintus Sassbox, to call some men sponges, for you never get anything back from a human sponge by squeezing him. The reason why a man in public life can never have a private life, Skenatelus, is that no man can lead a double life and be a success. A cynical philosopher tells us, O Hohokus, that “ blue blood is more often impoverished than not.” Did it ever occur to you that that is possibly why it is “ blue?” Who knows, my dear Reptilian, but that the man who lands in the soup after all gets his most appropriate des- sert? The pen is more truly mightier than the sword, Oxy- genius, particularly for the man who after having used , the sword sits down to write his reminiscences. Love is blind, of course, as hath been said for ages, my dear Spoonius, but take it from one who has known many maids, that you seldom find a damsef who is unable to make eyes enough to go around when opportunity arises. Be discriminating in compliment, O Gazbaggs, bearing in mind that while a preacher would be overjoyed to have you say that you were delighted to hear him, a piano-tuner to whom you said the same thing would know that you were insincere. The man who kicks over the ladder on which he has climbed, friend Dunderhed, probably realizes the sad truth that once he has attained the heights he will never lack assistance getting down again. comicbooks.com Pores J oO On WD 8 mw '-¥