Life — December 25, 1913 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

1166 OUR FOOLISH CONT EMES ARIES DI A Fair Athlete She could swing a six-pound dumb-bell, She could fence and she could box ; She could row upon the river, She could clamber ‘mong the rocks; She could golf from morn till evening And play tennis all day long; But she couldn't help her mother "Cause she wasn't very strong! —London Opi Fruit A teaspoonful of Abbott's Bitters with your Grape Fruit uakes an ideal appetizing tonic, Sam Ditters Bets. in stamps. pbott & Con Baltimore: As Woids are Rhymed in New Yoik Verse seen in a Forty-second Street car, in a brewing company’s advertise- ment: As losses on bottles quickly run into coin, We make an allowance A xotep physician the other day was called upon to examine the heart action of a college classmate’s son. “You've got tobacco heart, I guess,” said the physician. “But, doctor, I haven't "—protested the young man, “Go ‘way now; I'm busy.” Later on the father met the physician and told him that his boy hadn't smoked for four years. “Well, then,” said the physician, boy must be in love.”—Tribune. “the GREAT BEAR SPRING WATER SO cents per case of 6 glass stoppered bottles A Max worth $10,000,000 is no hap- pier than a man worth $9,000,000, Mon- cy docs not always bring happiness. —Lippincott's. t Summertime| all the Time ) | PINE FOREST INN | SUMMERVILLE, S.C. | == In the Heat of Southem Pines. —Gunning— | | I Fine 18 Hole Golf Course, Trap Shooting a i 1 Riding and Driving. Every Day a Summer Day. Rooms—-80 Private Bain? Cottages for Rent. RALPH Manager HERKIMER, FLW. WAGENER & CO., Proprietors | sow oren SEND oR Booxter | Score One for the Bar The story in a recent Companion of a Scottish lawyer's clever repartee to an English ge has reminded one of our readers of a similar encounter in which North Britain came out ahead. As in the other case, the lawyer was Scotch and the judge was English. The case in argument concerned certain water rights, and the lawyer had frequently to use the word “water,” which he pro- nounced very broad. “Mr. So-and-So,” at last interrupted the judge, “do you spell water with two t's in your country na, my lord,” quickly retorted the “but we spell manners wi’ ‘—Youth's Companion. twa Comfort Without Extravagance, Hotel Woodstock, New York “Jou the teacher asked, tell anything about Columbus?” “He discovered America.” “Yes. What else did he do?” “I s'pose he went home and lectured "—Chicago Record-Herald. “can you me Christopher about it. Kelly- Sprin Automobile Tires Mileage in a tire is like endurance in an athlete—it's having the right stuff to begin with, and then making the most of it. That's why Kelly-Springfields are never shown-up in the show-down. KELLY SPRINGFIELD qiRE >COMPANY The Weary Tite & Rubber C Cor. Biway & & 57th St., N.Y San Francisca, gfield - ests ef all syle Reldsvitle, N.C; eles, Cal. He Knew How He Got It “That large bump running across the back of your head,” sad the phrenologist, “means that you are inclined to be curi- ous, even to the point of recklessness. “T know it,” said the man who was consulting him; “TI got that bump by sticking my head into the dumb-waiter shaft to sce if the waiter was going up, and it wa ing down.” Ladies’ Home Journal, THE SHADOW ompichoals conn