Life, 1913-12-25 · page 32 of 41
Life — December 25, 1913 — page 32: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three separate humorous anecdotes typical of Life's satirical content: **"His Reason for Delay"**: A lawyer story where a client delays three years before suing someone who called him a rhinoceros. The joke's absurdity lies in the client finally deciding to act only after *seeing an actual rhinoceros*, suggesting he needed proof the insult was even possible. **"Father's Ultimatum"**: A domestic humor piece where a father, absorbed in his newspaper, tells his wife to instruct the children to fall downstairs *quietly* rather than stop the noise—prioritizing his reading comfort over parental concern. **"Disproving a Proverb"**: Lady Cook discusses how fashion changes (hoopskirts to slashed skirts), then cites a young man's witty retort: while "distance lends enchantment," it doesn't when riding home in a taxicab with one's date—a reference to early automobile dating culture and cramped intimacy. The page also features an aviation illustration (appears to be early aircraft over water) and a street scene. These are light, domestic satires targeting everyday social pretensions and behaviors.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
as Father's Ultimatum The father of a large family of chil- - i SH AE & <, HE dren was trying hard to read the evening SCA STOS Paper. out What's that terrible racket in the fell His Reason for Delay hall, Martha?” mo That things are often a whole lot “One of the children just fell down- he worse than they appear at first sight was stairs.” Ca demonstrated by a story told by Senator “Well,” he replied, turning over an. are Henry Lippitt of Rhode Island at a re- other page of the paper, “you tell the , cent banquet. children if they can't fall downstairs mt quietly, they'll have to stop —Lippincott's. Some time since, according to the Sen- ator, a man wearing an exceedingly thoughtful expression, entered the office of a lawyer. “Mr Smith,” said he, addressing the legal light, “can I bring suit against a man for calling me a rhinoceros?” Lady Cook (Tennessce Claflin) was talking in Pittsburg about time's Fe) Disproving a Proverb | pd j ay, ; * changes. se “You certainly can,” was the prompt ange reply of the lawyer. “When did he call Woman used to wear the hoop- w eply of the lawyer. z skirt,” she said, “and the wind blew it } th you a thinoceros?” 0: up outrageously, She now wears the k “ Let me see,” reflected the nt. “Tt slashed skirt, a much more modest af- : was thrce years ago last August. f “Three years ago!” exclaimed the as- changes all things,” ended : tonished lawyer, “And you are just Lady Cook. “I said to a young man | thinking of bringing suit?” the other day: by “Yes sir,” answered the client. “ You ‘Distance lends enchantment.’ te see, it is this way: I never saw a thi- “*But not,’ he answered, ‘when you're p noceros until yesterday.” taking your girl home in a taxicab.’” n —Philadelphia Telegraph. —New York Tribune. o _ — —————— = —— \ Lave is for sale by all ne 7 to Great Britta and may be obtained trom booksellers te all the principe! } cil tthe Send “The foveign Wade Seplled tra LAF'S WoSden Ofc, Role Hose, Bream Belagy \ tom, 3 Genes tees prior to fn0 out of rie The txt and dustratons tn Lave, are copyrighted. Bor Reprint Rights tn Great Britain offy to Lae, No contribution wil! se returned untest accompanied by stamped and addressed envelope. APE doer not tt Southampes vu, London, W. C. aid bse veiponsibie for the lass oF mamcreturn of wnseliated contribution Prompt notification should te cect by selecrbers of any change of adres 4 “SAY, MR. POSTMAN, WILL YOU DELIVER ME ACROSS THE STREET FOR TWO Ci