Life, 1913-12-18 · page 37 of 40
Life — December 18, 1913 — page 37: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page mixes light satirical commentary with period advertising. The "Human Variety" section opens with a philosophical quote about how superior individuals can embody many different personas in a single evening. A brief joke follows: Senator Sorghum defends using "slang" in speeches by claiming they're "1913 models"—satirizing how politicians justify adopting whatever rhetorical style seems trendy or advantageous. The longer "Everyman" piece (likely by Life's editorial staff) catalogs stereotypical male behavior: Everyman was once a rascal but reformed; he never understands why other men behave badly; he gossips about women while praising them to their faces; he always performed better at games previously. This gentle satire mocks masculine self-deception and hypocrisy through accumulated observation rather than specific targets. The tone is more wry observation of human nature than hard-hitting political commentary.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
t Human Variety Properly, however, there is no such thing as an individual, but only a com- hination,—one balance of an infinite sum. The charm of a very superior man or woman is the ghostliest of all conceivable experiences. For the man or woman in question can ina single evening become fifty, a hundred, two hundred different not in fancy, but in actual fact Lofeadio Hearn. ‘mer speeches were models aid the solicitous friend. isms people “Your f of orator: “Now you are using cology dangerously near slang.” “Yes.” replied Senator Sorghum, cheerily; “these are 1913 models” —Washingion Star. Born with the Republic It is really difficult now-a-days to get fine whisky. Not that fine whisky is so very scarce; but due to a con- dition in the business that makes it more profitable for a distiller to sell his fine goods to the ‘‘whisky doctors’” who “‘blend’? them up and make as much as ten gallons from one. Our standing reputa- tion for guality—a known factor in this business for over 125 years— insures the Consumer’s protection against such practices upon our part. James E. Pepper The National Whisky isofferedtoa discriminating public entire- ly upon its maintained merit, Often, it has been agreat temptation to us to ‘fall in line’* and ‘do as others do.** Our incentive in not doing ithas been the con- stant praise ofan army of consumers who trust us to keep them properly supplied. A Trial Shipment We offer to send four quarts, express prepaid (east of the Rocky Mts.) for $5; with the under- standing that you may use up one quart in testing. If you desire the money re- {ended after the test, you need only ask. lor it. The James E. Pepper Distilling Co. Lexington, Ky. Eatabilahed 1789 “I'm so alad y purity, flavor and sweetness.” “Nylo” Chocolates are made under finest sanitary conditions. No artificial flavors, fruits or colors used in the making. They are pure, wholesome and deliciously good. NYLO Chocolates Give you the highest quality obtainable in Chocolates, and are sold only at Nyal Drug Stores—eighty cents to one dollar and filty cents the pound. 16,082 of the best druggis! “Nylo” Chocolates. There right near you. For Christmas-gi appropriate—a delicious delight in IMPORTANT each individual “Nylo” Chocolate. T_.., we wademarh Look for the Nyal Drug Store and get your Christmas and Holiday sup- ply now, to avoid possible disap- pointment later. plainly. Send to New York & London Drug Co. 108 John Street, New York, N. Y. si ‘ou brought “Nylo” Chocolates, because I know they surpass all others in in America sell = @ 1A YY e@ one of them 2AM ES Os & fign oa ing, nothing more rf ple of these delicious yloChocolates. Write name and address £ Londen Drag Co. 082. indsor, Ont., Can. YMAN when he was a boy asa devil of a fellow. Neither himself nor anyone else dreamed that he could ever turn out so well. Everyman might have married any other woman among several if he had wanted to. Everyman never understands why every other man does the things whic he himself would not think of doin Everyman praises women to their face but in talking to every other man he says terrible things about them. When it comes to gossip Everyman can give any woman cards and eryinan never admits spades, but FE this. Everyman, if he plays golf, billiards, pool or any other game, never does so well as he did the last time he played. Everyman lets his wife have her own way until he is thoroughly aroused and then he tears things up— so Everyman says when he talks about it to every other man. Everyman when he smokes, smokes so little that he never feels it. “ Groce, what are you burning, dear?" she asked, going to the grate and peering over his shoulder. “The letters I wrote you before we were married.” “You heartless wretch! I wonder if all_men are so devoid of sentiment? You: “Tam doing it in your interest, dear I'm trying to fix things so that when 1 die nobody can dispute my will on the ground of insanity."—Tit-Bits. The Other Car Some salesmen are equal to almost any emergency and do not spare the “ other car” when occasion req But the Blank car is guaranteed for life,” protested the prospective purchaser to a salesman of the sort. “Yes, I know it is," retorted the quick: witted salesman, “but our car is guar- anteed for a whole year.” It required several moments for the prospective purchaser to see the point. —Reedy's Mirror. A LATE DEBUTANTE SOCIETY'S LEADER NOW! “Sead PARFUM CREATED A § ACHIEVED WONDERFUL f INSTANTANEOUS SENSATION FAME SUPREME O FIFTH AVENUE Sema sae | 8125 Caran se 23