Life, 1913-12-04 · page 73 of 112
Life — December 4, 1913 — page 73: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
The page contains two distinct pieces: **The Christmas Story (left):** A sentimental narrative about a wealthy child (Van Doodleton) who receives modest gifts—peanuts and a simplified Pilgrim's Progress—from Santa Claus. The joke satirizes privilege: the boy is thrilled by deprivation because his usual abundance has made him jaded. The story mocks the wealthy child's disconnection from ordinary experience. **"A Little Journey" (right):** This is satirical commentary on tipping culture. It catalogs the seemingly endless succession of tips required during a simple train journey—to porters, bellboys, waiters, taxi drivers, operators, etc.—then instructs readers to "repeat to end of return trip." The satire highlights the absurdity and financial burden of the contemporary tipping system, where service workers at every stage expect compensation. The repetition emphasizes how exhausting and expensive such travel truly was for ordinary people. Both pieces critique aspects of American consumer culture and economic inequality.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
ities LIFEGVA Rath place. “That’s what you get this year, Mister Van Doodleton, and by thunder when I come back next year you don't shriek with joy over a bag of peanuts and a copy of Bunyan’s ‘Pilgrim's Progress In Words of One Syllable’, I'll give you another just like it!” “By Jove!” chuckled the youngster through his tears, as Santa us shuf- fled up through the flue. “The old beggar’s some pumpkins after all! I never expected to get a new sensation out of Christmas, and the fat old galoot’s given it to me—hanged if he hasn't!” And he turned over and went peace- fully to sleep, really satisfied for the first time in his sweet young life. “HUH! CAN'T YOU OPEN THAT SAFE?” A Little Joumey for taxi driver, office to sta- T” Tip for station porter, 10c. tion, 25¢, Tip for waiter on diner, 25c. Tip for waiter in club car, 15¢ Tip for waiter at breakfast, 25c. p for porter on sleeper, 25c. Tip to station porter, 10c. Tip 25c. Tip for hotel porter, 15c. Tip for bellboy who brought ice wa- ter, 10c. Tip for bellboy who brought mail, 10c. for taxi driver, Station to hotel, Tip for bellboy who brought tele- gram, 10c. Tip for waiter at lunch, 25c. Tip for telephone operator, 10c. Tip ticket, 25c. for head porter who got return Tip for porter who carried bags downstairs, 15¢. Tip for porter who carried bags to taxi, 1Sc. Tip for taxi driver, hotel to sta- tion, 25¢ Tip for station porter, 10c. Repeat to end of return trip.