Life, 1913-11-27 · page 30 of 40
Life — November 27, 1913 — page 30: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three separate humorous pieces typical of *Life* magazine's satirical content: **"When Juries Mete"** mocks an uneducated Alaskan district attorney who malapropises "mete out justice" as "mete out jestice," satirizing frontier legal incompetence. **"A Wise Youth"** jokes about a vaccinated boy's logic—he wants the bandage on his uninjured arm to avoid school bullies hitting his sore spot, outwitting the doctor's reasoning. **Golf and Sports Humor** includes poems about restraint in golf (avoiding swearing despite frustration) and a brief joke about "Freckles" (likely the popular comic strip character), showing how literary/cultural references entertained contemporary readers. The page's centerpiece illustration depicts a golfer, reinforcing the golf-humor theme. The Egyptian sphinx drawing below appears unrelated to surrounding text, typical of *Life*'s scattered layout.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
:AUT SCISSORS -} AuT NULLUs When Juries Mete Up in Alaska there used to be a dis- trict attorney who was long on native oratory, but short on education. Once, while prosecuting a big case, he came to the finish of his argument; and, accord- ing to Wilson Mizner, who was up there at the time, he leaned across the rail anid made this plea: “All I asts of you, gentlemen of the jury, is that you now retire and mete out jestice as she deserves to be met!” —Saturday Evening Post, A Wise Youth A small boy had been vaccinated, and after the operation the doctor prepared to bandage the sore arm, but the boy objected. “ Put it on the other arm, Doctor.” “Why, no,” said the physician, “I want to put the bandage on your sore arm, so the boys at school won't hit you on it.” “Put it on the other arm, iterated the small boy; “y the fellows at our school.” —Ladies’ Home Journal. Doc,” re- don’t know Ranrously ia the United States, G al postage to foreiga countries 10 1 s.. "Single carreat copies, Back numbers, after three m ues prior to 1910 out of priat im weitt be returned unless accompanied by stamped and addressed envelope. le for the lot oF momereturm of unsolicited Contributions. “THEY CAME BAC It Has Reached London (Why should you swear at golf? —Office Window.) Do I employ golf language? No! In difficulties still I show Restraint, both duc and seemly, though No game for hasty man it is: I take, the proudest man alive, My stance, address, and then contrive With one wild swoop to miss my drive, Yet I avoid profanities. There's nothing like my putting, but Suppose I miss a one-foot putt, To know that I but say “ Tut-tut!” Is precious as a carcanet. Then when I use the lofter, which Should send the ball at high, far pitch, And yet that trickles to the ditch, “Dear me!” is my remark on it. Put when you've bunkered, miss the ball, Break all your dashed clubs, one and all, To reach it, in the bushes fall. (You will, my certain knowledge is!) Then, as it seems, with eager zest down, where it is gorsiest, Tell me—this is my one request— Would you but chant doxologies? M. S., in London Chronicle. Out, Damned Spot! He: Have you read “ Freckles"? Sue (quickly): Oh, no! That's my . S. U. Sun Dial. FROM THE RIDE WITH THE TIGER INSIDE” LAPR is lor sale by all newstealers in Great Britain am cities of the world, The foreiga trade supplied trom L Leadon, E The text a 1 Southam be obtained trom booksellers in all the principal 5 London Offce, Cannon Howse, Dreams Bultory ons (a Lave are copyrighted. London, WC. Id be sent Ay subscribers of any change of address, For Reprint Rights 4 Great Britain appiy to Lar, Lape docs noe “A cada ODI “NOW PROMISE ME YOU'LL NEVER TEIL.” “1 PROMISE,”