Life, 1913-10-30 · page 35 of 40
Life — October 30, 1913 — page 35: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This Life magazine page contains two distinct sections: **Left side:** A humorous parody titled "Boston Kindergarten 'Mother Goose'" that renders classic nursery rhymes in deliberately overwrought, polysyllabic language. For example, "Old Mother Hubbard" becomes a story of an "antediluvian matronly dame" discovering "vacuity" in her cupboard. The satire mocks pretentious, verbose speech—likely targeting affected Boston society or overeducated affectation. A small cartoon below shows children playing, with a caption about prayer and a neighborhood picnic, suggesting mild social commentary on everyday life. **Right side:** A full-page advertisement for Stag Smoking Tobacco, emphasizing its versatility ("many-sided") and multiple appealing qualities (outdoor vs. indoor use, various packaging options). The ad uses straightforward marketing language contrasting sharply with the overwrought text opposite. The juxtaposition appears intentional—the page satirizes linguistic pretension while simultaneously running a plainspoken commercial, creating implicit social commentary about class and communication styles.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
$s 3rightoa” IP York City —— AINS x5 —} Boston Kindergarten “h “Mother Goose” (In words of three syllables.) N_ antediluvian matronly dame, Mrs. Hubbard, by appellation, Proceeded erstwhile to examine her stock of provisions for pabulation, Intending to give her ossivorous canine a nutritive ap- petizer : But when she approached the deposit for victuals in close contiguity, The cupboard astonished the dame by revealing a perfect vacuity, And so the impoverished canine remained an unsatis- fied gormandizer. A gentleman indigenous to our municipality, Distinguished by extraordinary wisdom and cognition, Propelled into a bramble-bush his whole corporeality, \nd thus annihilated both his eyes by harsh attrition. Perceiving the calamity by which he'd been assaulted, He exerted all his potency and vigor of decision; Again into a brier-filled copse he shrewdly somersaulted, And repeated confrication quite restored his ruined Vision, Pray pardon our apparent curiosity, Miss Mary. (For perversity’s acknowledged your conspicuous vagary If we interrogate you on your garden's evolution, Embellished with argentic bells ‘mongst rarities herbace- ous, With corrugated cockle-shells, pelagic and testaceous, And with captivating maidens all in linear distribution, A frugal vegetarian, denominated Peter, Habitually classified himself a pumpkin-eater, But his matrimonial consort had a wayward disposition And perplexed him to discover how to make her live dis- creeter. At last he tried confining his recalcitrant young wiie In the hollow of a pumpkin excavated by his knife, And imprisoned in this tegument, a curious position, He succeeded in preventing indiscretions all her life. Gorham W. Harris. RELIGION “LET'S PRAY FOR RAIN, EFFIE, TILLIE SMIF'S GIVIN’ A PICNIC TO-MORROW AN’ THE MEAN THING NEVER ASKED US.” SMOKING TOB ACCO Mellow as Moonlight- Fragrant—Fresh—Cool— Smooth—Mild. Ask half a dozen smokers to name the one BEST thing about Stag, and you are likely to get half a dozen differ- ent answers. Never was there a tobacco as many-sided as Stag—as delightfully satisfying in so many ways. <i} The best out-door tobacco because it holds all its flavor in the open air. The best indoor tobacco because of its fresh and de- licious fragrance. CONVENIENT PACKAGES FOR PIPE AND The Pound Humidor CIGARETTE The 10 Cent Tin No Bite—No Sting and No Bag—No String The Handy }%-Size 5 Cent Tin EVER-LASTING=-LY GOOD comicbooks.com