Life, 1913-10-30 · page 14 of 40
Life — October 30, 1913 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This satirical article mocks Washington politicians by comparing them to Tom Jefferson—implying they lack his famous simplicity and dignity. The accompanying cartoon depicts a caricatured figure (likely representing a bloated politician) struggling under the weight of various burdens: books, papers, and what appears to be a cornucopia of excess. The text references specific politicians including Senator Works, Senator Marshall, Senator Tillman, and Senator Stone, criticizing their vanity, pretension, and inability to maintain Jefferson's ideals of humble republicanism. The satire suggests Washington elites have become ridiculous caricatures of themselves, obsessed with status symbols while abandoning democratic principles. The "Japanese school-boy" perspective serves as an outsider's critical lens on American political hypocrisy.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“LEE * Letters of a Japanese School-boy The Restoration of Jeffersonian Simplicity. Wasu, D.C. To Editor “L wspaper” whose humorous muckrake is always scratching up giggles, EAREST SIR:— Hon, Tom Jefferson, famus simpleton, was born in a house without steam heat and immediately rose to celebrated fame because of his lack of resemblance to Hon. John Drew. Every since then Democrats has kept forks, necktics and French novels off their platform. A Democrat must be like that famus Jeff to rise uply, because they are aware that a great man can he still greater if his hair curls slightly Dchind the ears and he snap his sus- penders while discussing Monroe Doc- toring. I know because Tam still here in Washington. And yet some Democrats is less like Hon, Tom = Jeff than others, Hon. Wilson, King of America, have became very skillful in this cowhide statesmanship, yet it come very un- natural to him because of his Princeton style. He had to study lives of John Burroughs and Robinson Crusoe, mous Democrats, hefore he could learn to look like a king in shirt-sleeves, Yet he has accomplish that hard problemb and are now taking lessons in tobacco- eating from Arkansas congressman, Yesterday, while sneaking like a Japanese spy through aunty-room of White House, I observed Hon. Wood- row giving very snubbed interview to Hons Root & Lodge, who studied sim- plicity under Hon. Vie Rosewater and did not learn the right kind. “Good morning. Mr. Sire!” they say off while approaching throne. No reply from Hon, W gaz at them with iced cyes. Great embarrassment enjoyed by all Of finally Hon. Wilson peevly, “How you insult my majesty!” “We do not mean this disgust!” they say so for humble expression. “Do you not know enough ceremony lrow who Silences. snitch out “ Are those Washington folks more pler than in reign of Fat King Wm? to take your coats off in the presence of your President?” he pronounce hashly. They do so. “Be seated!” continue on that Pro- fessor. “And now, if you will put your feet on the table, we shall take up the Central Bank where it dropped.” : It are easy for V. Pres Marshall to be a Jeff Democrat without study, he- cause he come from Indiana where it grows. During dullish weeks, while entire Senate are awaiting for Senator La Follette to finish his paragraph Hon. Marshall remove his paperloid collar and wash it with red banana handkerchie: Senator Tillman enjoy this so much he nearly swallow his was corncobb-pipe ; but Senator Works, who. represent the Christian Science Party of California, refuse to see any amuse- ment in this, because jokes is an error of mortal mind. This Hon. Marshall may be removed off from his office, because he are get- ting too prominent for a V. Pres. Several policemen and some door- keepers know him by sight and he are becoming so vain about it that nothing can stop him. Last week he attemp to hold a camp-meeting on steps of Capitol; but Pres Wilson stop this, because he was afraid some Senators might become Christians and therefore useless in politics. Each morning, when Hon. Marshall walk down Penn Ave carrying lunch-pail, he whistle “ Sweet- ish Beulah Lane which make him very endeared to Senator Bailey, be- cause that song are favorite tune of Hon. John D. Rockefeller. Mr Editor, this Bailey man are very nice Jeffersonian simpleton. He can think Standard Oil and talk Ida Tar- bell, which are good thing to know. Senator Tillman, celebrated suffragette, and Senator Stone, famus overshoe, have became so plain-popular that they can debate on agricultural paper while cating apples. Howeverly, Senator Ollie James continue doggishly to wear Newport pants because, he say so, he refuse to he a Democratic policy while Kentucky whiskey are being insulted in Tariff. It are very pathos, Mr. Editor, for see so many Republicans attempting to resemble this Tom Jeff simplicity. he- cause they was horn too rich to learn how. Yet they try with considerable patriotism. This morning I notice one 18,000$ Epstein-Levy automobile dish- guised as a prairie schooner driving up Penn Ave. The chauffeur wore Col Cody hat and carried silver-mounted Lull-whip. Of finally Hon. Machinery stop at Capitol Bldg and Hon. Dan Guggenheim, wearing uniform of Cap- tain of Industry, got out and tipped doorkeep 100$. This might be simple, but is it? comicbooks.com