Life, 1913-10-30 · page 12 of 40
Life — October 30, 1913 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This satirical piece mocks the proliferation of urban noise in early 20th-century America. The "Noise Department" is a fictional service offering solutions to make neighborhoods louder—the opposite of what citizens actually want. The humor works through inversion: while a grateful patron complains about "new noises" plaguing his New York neighborhood, Life's satirists propose increasing noise further. References to the "Tango Special vibrator" and plans to place opera singers and gongs on every street car conductor suggest that manufacturers and entertainment venues were aggressively adding noise to city life. The piece satirizes both commercial excess and public complaints about urban congestion. "Her Parting Shot" below is an unrelated anecdote about a photograph dispute.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“CRE Life’s Noise Department HIS depart- ment is now in full blast. It's rapidly getting to be the most popu- lar thing in Amer- ica, Every species of noise furnished on application. We spare no pains to make ourselves heard. Try our Pandemonium No. 3, for use of private families. Trained bands of orators furnished at any hour of the day and night. Our Tango Special vibrator can be placed in any home. You can dance by it, if you don’t get too close. It is a combination phonograph with sawmill and sheet iron attach- ment piayed by automatic hammers. Noises of any sort and description shipped to any address. City hos- pitals fitted out complete. If your street is too quict apply direct to us. We will send you a set of street noises which will please every neighbor on the block. Remember ‘we work only in co-operation with the city author- ities. We have yet to find anyone in charge of a city who isn’t delighted to think we can add to the number and volume of noises. Noise is no-longer a luxury for the American people. It has become a necessity. Porwncceal A grateful patron writes: “Tam an old New Yorker and have been troubled for some time over the fact that there have been T have to listen to the same ones over and over again. Even policemen who club innocent citizens night after night in front of my house do not get any varicty into their civic labors. Your noise department ought to do great things. Tt will fill a long-felt vacuum. nm) new noises. “Now we have two” We expect soon to increase the noise of the New York State Legislature at Albany by fifty per cent. Very soon you will be able to hear a new street railway franchise all over the state, Have just signed the contract with the Bull Moose party for 1916. Mr. Roosevelt wired us as follows: “ With “Our Tango Special can be placed in any home” “ Gongs on street car conductor” your help, I shall be able to make more noise than any other party. This in- sures victory.” One critic writes: “Why do-you consider it necessary to start a noise.department? Isn't t the noisiest country on earth, anyway? You can’t beat it!” Our friend is a back number. We have only begun to make a noise. Our present prosperity is due to the number of noises. The more noises, the more prosperity. Everybody knows this. Last year we had only one opera. Now we have two with double the noise and amount of money spent. We are the first in the field. Wait until you hear the new gongs we are going to put on every street car conductor in New York—then you will realize what we are doing for the American. people. Bang! Zip! Boom! Noisiest noise. Life's Noise Department. Here’s to the Her Parting Shot “VOU have returned all my letters and presents, Hortense,” says Egbert, “but you seem to be retaining my photograph. May I yet dare to hope that——” “Oh, your photograph? I sent that to Lire, thinking the editor would want to run it as one of those pic- tures for which they pay a hundred dollars to anybody that can supply a proper title.’ comicbooks.com