Life — September 11, 1913 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

FOOLISH | MPORARIES Uncle Chet’s Advice Uncle Chet Thomas was a famous Kansas politician of the early days. Once, when he was in the Kansas Legis- lature, a man interested in a certain bill offered Uncle Chet one hundred dollars to help the bill along. “Never you mind about that!" said Uncle Chet. “I don’t want your money ; and, besides, don’t you never try to buy a politician. When you want to buy any- body buy an honest man—he'll stay bought; but a politician has a record to maintain! "—Saturday Evening Post. Comfort Without Extravagance, Hotel Woodstock, New York, No Change Possible When Myron brought home his monthly school report, it made a very poor showing. “This is very unsatisfactory,” said his father, looking over the report, “I am not at all pleased with it.” “T knew you wouldn't be,” answered Myron. “TI told the teacher so, but she said she couldn't change it.” —Harper's. VENUS PERFECT PENCILS Convince yourself of VENUS PENCIL Superiority AMERICAN LEADPENCILCo, 225 Firth Avenus. New Yor THE TRADE MARK that. stands for quality writing papers for Fine Corre- spondence or Gen- eral Business Uses are America’s Best. They have given satisfaction to a multitude of users for nearly half a century. They are made in tints and surfaces to suit all tastes. You can get them at any first- class stationer’s. Johnny handed from his mother morning : “Dere Teecher—You keep tellin’ my hoy to breathe with his diafram. Maybe tich children have got diaframs, but how about when their father only makes two shillings a day and has got five children to keep? First it's one thing, then it’s another, and now it's diaframs. That's the worst yet."—Tit-Bits. the following note to the teacher one Sticed Oranges with adash of Abbott's Bitters areappetizing healthful. Sample of bitters by mail, 2 cta, in stamps. and C. W, Abbott & Co,, Baltimore, Md. Payine Trtter: You must get some- ene to identify you before I can pay this check, Have you any friends in this town? Strancrr: Not one, catcher.—Our Animals. I'm the dog THE LONG CONTINUED POPULARITY THE Pl HUNTER BALTIMORE EXTENDING OVER SO YEARS, IS OF ITSELF CONVINCING PROOF THAT T REFERENCE GIVEN TO IT BY THE PEOPLE IS FOUNDED UPON ITS SUPERIOR QUALITY, ABSOLUTE PURITY, AND UNIFORM EXCELLENCE Sold at all 6et-clam cafes and by jobbers. WAL! LANATIAN & SON! Baleno SE When you think of writing think of Whiting Waurtnc Parer Compaxy New York Philadelphia Chicago WHITING’S ROYAL LAID is rich in appear- ance, distinctive in texture, high in quality. It has the antique finish and deckle edge. There are three sizes— gentlemen’s, ladies’ and small note. Whiting’s Royal Laid is a paper of Pronounced in- dividuality and unusual charm. in fine | ATS this Autumn will not be trimmed, say Vogue's Paris correspondents: they will be decorated with a single feather or bow or quill posed at a very particular angle. Upon this angle depends the entire J chic of the hat. Here is one new French model—alont | with fifty others, ranging from the conservative to the extreme, you will find it in Vogue's big Autumn Millinery Number—on sale at all newsstands, and— NOW READY FOR YOU Not Flattering “We've got a great road now,” said an enthusiastic Western railroader to his friend. “We've got it double-tracked clear through to Chicago.” “H’m,” said the friend, “I don't see what you want a double track for. You can't keep your trains on one.” —Everybody's. “You certainly have a trim little waist,” said Red Philips, admiringly. “You're right,” she replied, “there's no getting around that."—The Spectator. comicbooks.com