Life, 1913-09-11 · page 16 of 44
Life — September 11, 1913 — page 16: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This satirical dialogue features Governor William Sulzer of New York complaining to "Life" (the magazine personified) about his job. Sulzer claims he excelled as a Congressman through eloquent bluffing and "glittering generalities"—rhetoric that works fine in Washington. However, as Governor, constituents expect *actual results*, not mere talk. He laments that he lacks real-world competence and nostalgically wishes to return to flowery speechmaking by the Potomac. The satire targets Sulzer's reputation as an all-talk politician unsuited for executive responsibility. The bottom cartoon caption ("nice fix for a staunch prohibitionist") likely references Sulzer's prohibition stance—the accompanying image suggests some compromising situation. This reflects Sulzer's actual 1913 governorship, which proved troubled and brief, ending in impeachment.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
IF YOU CANNOT MAKE GOOD, TRY AND MAKE A GOOD BLUFF AT IT “JELLO, Lire?” Yes. This is Lire.” “Governor Sulzer speaking.” “Glad to Ne hear s~ your voice, Gover- How goes it?” “Not so well as it might, Live, Not nor. so well as it might.” “Gracious, Governor, we hate to hear you talk in that strain.” “T almost wish I hadn't taken this job.” “ Governor!" “And that I had remained a Con- gressman.” “You certainly seemed to be con- siderable of a success as a Congress- man.” “TU tell you something, Live. This isn’t a party line, is it?” “No. You can speak with perfect freedom.” “Well, then, it’s a great deal easier to be a successful Congressman than to be a successful Governor of a State like New York.” “That's interesting. you mean?” “Well, you take me, for instance. ZT am almost an ideal Congressman. 1 can talk by the hour and have one of the best commands of glittering generalities and traditional Democratic by-words and by-phrases that ever in- vaded the pages of the Congressional Just what do On Life’s Wire Record. I can become stentorious, pound the table, and make everybody, including myself, think that I am in dead earnest. In addition to these, I have certain noticeable mannerisms which make me appear important on slight acquaintance.” “You interest us strangely, Gov- , Lire, you see, all that kind of thing is just right for a Congress- man. Washington is brimful of it. Nobody really expects much from a Congressman except talk, But it seems to be different with a Governor. Talk will take a Governor only about so far, and then the people expect him to come forward with a few re- sults.” “Don't be discouraged, Governor. We have had some pretty poor sticks up there at Albany.” “Yes, but how long did they last? When you're a Congressman you can blame all the rest of the Congressmen for what you fail to do, but when you're @ Governor there’s nobody you can blame but Murphy, after all, is not a very convincing excuse.” “All is not lost, Governor. Maybe is isn’t too late for you to. stir around a bit and really get something done.” “Yes, it is, Lire, yes it is. No mat- ter what else happens, I’ve been a Congressman so long that I am entirely unfitted for any real work in this world.” “Sorry, Governor.” “So am I, Lire, I’d give anything if I were back on the banks of the Potomac basking in the shade of the sheltering rhetoric tree. But I won't bother you with my troubles any longer, Lire. Good-bye.” “Good-bye, Governor Sulzer. know exactly how you feel.” E. 0. J. We “THIS IS A NICE FIX FOR A STAUNCH PROHIBITIONIST!”" comicbooks.com