Life, 1913-09-04 · page 5 of 40
Life — September 4, 1913 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains **primarily advertising** rather than political cartoons. The main content is a "Life's Wire" humor column featuring a satirical dialogue between "Life" magazine and Postmaster-General Burleson about the Bourne parcel post system. The joke mocks Burleson for claiming the parcel post was a success while Life magazine points out it was the only publication that recognized "what a stupid thing the Bourne parcel post was" from the start. Below is a Liquid Veneer automobile cleaning product advertisement and a Waltham Watches "Riverside Jewel Series" advertisement featuring an ornate jewelry box with a watch. The page is primarily **commercial**, with the Burleson exchange serving as light editorial satire about government postal policy.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
On Life’s Wire “ LJELLO, L “This is Postmaster-General Burle- son speaking, What do you think of me now?” “Think of you now?” “Yes. Didn’t you sce where I had increased the weight limit in some of the parcel post zones and lowered some of the rates?” “Oh, yes; we noticed that.” “Well, aren't you going to congratu- late me, Lire? As I remember, you were about the only magazine that realized from the start what a stupid thing the Bourne parcel post was.” “You make us blush, Mr. Burleson.” “But, as I said before, Lire, aren't you going to congratulate me?” “Well, yes, Mr. Burleson, we do congratulate you, but we are not wildly enthusiastic. You may have made a good beginning, but nothing more.” eens tre ohe, Kiverside, Jewel, Jertes ltham Watches fail if you bear in mind one thing which in the past has been too casy to forget.” “Namely?” “That the convenience of the public is more to be considered than the ac- quisitive intentions of the express com- panies.” The word “Riverside” means to the watch-wise all that, is desirable in strength, precision and everlastingness. The Jewel Series of these Riverside Watches are for women and render to them that accurate and dependable service which used to belong exclusively to men’s watches. These Jewel watches are small, | beautiful in appearance, and not expensive, yet they fully measure up to the standard of instrumental excellence which is required of all Waltham Watches. This watch will make a perfect gift from Him to Her or from Her to Herself. Our Riverside booklet will be sent to you free—and gladly. Valtham’ Watch althage: etek, Compa Clean Up Your ‘WITH LAND AEE Bring out the beauty and lustre of the original “Oh, I'll remember that all right “Nothing like it. You have an ex- enough.” ; Sh "Get nd. af ust and. grime spots “What made us a little suspicious, and was ishe motitenea ‘clin "LIQUID VENEER, dusting cloth Mr. Burleson, was your published . : : PRESERVES THE NEWNESS statement that it might take fifteen or You usually are. I'll look into the mat- Ys k r i ion: venty ye i eo ay Bee Tone Car Jooin eee by oecasion twenty years before our parcel Post 1, again. Thanks for the tip. Liquid Veneer is a surface food that. preserves would be truly thorough in its effi- Don't mention it, Mr. Burleson, ciency. That's the way Mr. Hitchcock We study to please.” used to talk.” “T believe it. Good-bye.” and prolongs the life of th ive finish. LIQUID “VENEER is ‘used. by’ thousands of “Don't you think it will take that “Good-bye, Mr. Burleson.” long, Lire?” E. 0. J. aggerated idea of the cherry. It is costly finish. Get ri unnecessary to take such small bites.’ “ By jove, Lire, you may be right. motorists. You can get a bottle at your dealer's or at any grocery, drug, paint, furniture, hardware or department store. BUFFALO SPECIAL’ 299 Liquid Veneer Bldg. ar comma, N.Y. comicbooks.com