Life, 1913-09-04 · page 26 of 40
Life — September 4, 1913 — page 26: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Life* magazine is a "Coming" events calendar with satirical commentary on upcoming happenings (September 2-8, undated but early 1900s based on references). The cartoon depicts two men on a bench marked "WET PAINT." One says they can't sit there because it's freshly painted; the other reveals he placed the sign himself that afternoon to reserve the seat. This is straightforward humor about resourcefulness and self-interest—using a "wet paint" warning as a crowd-control device. The text below comments on political annihilation occurring via impeachment (likely referencing New York governor Sulzer, mentioned earlier). Other items mock various events: prairie chicken trials, a Portuguese king's remarriage, a firemen's monument unveiling (sardonically praising fire-trap owners), and an actress performing *Electra* (which conservative Anthony Comstock finds shocking). The humor is light, punchy satire typical of *Life*'s style—observational comedy about contemporary events, society figures, and political absurdities.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
September 2—Primary Election, State of Wisconsin. The declaration of uncivil war between Messrs. Sulzer and Murphy has entirely overshadowed the late lamented question of primaries in New York, the well-known State of Chaos. Public schools of Buffalo will open for the autumn educational term. Owners of back lots may now expect to have the use of their property between the hours of 8 a. u. and 3.30 p. M. The school-going public, on the other hand, complains bitterly against this interference with the serious business of the baseball season. Second Annual Prairie Chicken Trials of the All-Amer- ica Field Trial Club, Towner, N. D. Any chicken found guilty of a protracted stay in cold storage will be sentenced to complete Oslerization. There has been a marked eager- ness among the hotel and restaurant dining public to sit on the jury at the chicken trials September 3—Date set for the marriage of former King Manuel, of Portugal, and Princess Augustive Victoria, daughter of Prince Wilhelm, of Hohenzollern, Rumor has it that Miss Gaby Deslys, of Europe and Broadway, will send the happy groom a symbolical pickle dish, embossed with inverted crowns and forget-me-nots. bi Twelfth Annual Reunion of the Descendants of Samuel Fogg,. Hampton Beach, N. H. | Weather forecast for Hampton Beach, September 3—considerable Fogg. Sixtieth Anniversary of the New York Press Associa- tion, Elmira, N. Y. The tailors of the State are in some doubt as to whether they are included in the invitation to the press convention. Tenth National Encampment of the United Spanish- American War Veterans, Buffalo, N. Y. Meanwhile the question of what to do with the Philippines continues to harass the prosaic and unmilitary heads of government. International Agricultural Exhibition, The Hague, Hol- land, Many milliners are flocking to The Hague in search of inspiration for their fall hats. Indications are that a large amount of shrubbery will be worn this season, though taxidermists deny that stuffed birds are passé September 5--Unveiling of the Firemen’s Monument, Riverside Drive, New York City. Speeches will be de- livered in praise of all owners of fire-traps. If it were not for these persons, say the grateful firemen, many members of the department would miss the opportunity to die as heroes, September 6—Margaret Anglin, the actress, will appear at the Greek Theatre of the University of California in “lectra"” of Sophocles. Mr. Anthony Comstock is a bit dubious about “Electra.” It sounds shocking. Fourteenth Session of the International Statistics Insti- tute, Vienna. A series of statistics showing the attitude of the Coal Trust toward the price of winter coal would be greatly appreciated by the world at large. Twelfth anniversary of the assassination of President “WE CAN'T SIT HERE, BILL, 11'S JUST BEEN PAINTED.” “ PAINTED NOTHING. I PUT THAT SIGN THERE MYSELF THIS AFTERNOON SO WE'D SURE GET A SEAT.” McKinley, at Buffalo, N. Y. The present method of po- litical annihilation is by impeachment. Prince Henry Handicap Running Race, Manchester, England. The Prince’s weakness for vulgar physical exer- cise has aroused considerable comment in foreign royal circles. According to court precepts, the Prince’s place is on the throne. September 7—Independence Day, Brazil, South Amer- ica, In spite of the fact that in Brazil the Fourth of July comes on the seventh of September, a safe and sane time is expected to be had by all. September 8—Sixtieth National Encampment of the Army and Navy Union, in connection with which will be held the convention of the National Corps of the Ladies’ Auxiliary, Philadelphia, Pa. Feminine militancy has at last penetrated the United States. A report that Mrs. Pankhurst had accepted a life generalship in the Ladies’ Auxiliary caused hysterical outbursts of joy throughout the British Empire. The Arizona Lodge of Masons, Number Two, will use the Grand Canyon as a Masonic temple. After using, however, the canyon will be returned to nature and the Cook tourists. F. D. B. comicbooks.com