Life, 1913-08-28 · page 12 of 40
Life — August 28, 1913 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This satirical piece uses a Japanese schoolboy character named Nogi to critique American interventionism in Mexico through naive questioning. The "schoolboy" asks why America would shoot at Mexico, referencing recent U.S. military intervention there—likely the 1916 Pershing Expedition or earlier tensions. The humor relies on the device of "innocent" questions exposing alleged American hypocrisy: politicians make back-stab accusations at each other, yet America itself engages in military aggression. The schoolboy challenges specific American figures (Roosevelt, Woodrow Wilson) for their claimed principles versus actual conduct. The bottom illustration depicts armed conflict, reinforcing the critique of American military action. This represents Life magazine's satirical commentary on U.S. foreign policy contradictions.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
To Editor “Life Newspaper," which is still doing so, I hopes, Dearest Srr:— I got a joke-thought full of shrieking laughter which I wish you would publish in your Humorous Department (if you still running it) and pay me price 50c or stamps. Following is that joke: Togo—At what place in Geography does Hon. Earth revolve most swiftly on its axels? Nogi—(ignorantly, as usual) At what place, Mr. Togo? Togo—(educatedly) At Mexico!! Nogi—(from excitement) © Why should Hon. Earth go round most swiftest there? Togo—(with comedian eyebrows) Because at that place (Mexico) it en- joys greatest numerical number of Revolutions! Nogi—Ha ha! drollery. (This joke would sound still yet funnier in Japanese. If your sub- scribers would enjoy laughing at it in that language, send 25c¢ extra stamps or money order for translation.) This wig-wag joke which I send to your Hon. Printer to buy was shot off between me & Cousin Nogi quite re- cently of yore when we read in news- prints that interventional war had been declared against Mexico by Senator Lodge who is a patriot when not a Republican. “Where have that war broke out most cruelly?" I require from Cousin Nogi with Hague expression. “In the N. Y. Journal,” he jolt forth like a Brisbane. “Then nothing could stop it!” I collapse. “ Why should America wish for shoot poor Mexico?” “Because so!” This from him, “ Mexico are filled with political graft- iness and intreeg. Therefore they must send militia, Bryan, balmy beef aow I congratulate such TEE Letters of ‘a Japanese Schoolboy Why Should America Wish Shoot Poor Mexico? and other ammunition to Mexico and bang her up plenty.” “Do America require to shoot all politicians who make back-stab to each other?” I ask to know. “O surely yes!” he otter. “Then why was not Republican Con- yention at Chicago gunned to pieces?” I negotiate bull-moosefully. No reply from Nogi who has a Taftish mind. “This Mexico war disgust me very gruffly,” I corrode. “In first place, Hon. Woodrow, king of America, would look entirely unusual on horses chasing after enraged cannons. Yet it would be expected of him. Kings always go to war in this militia age. Hon. Constantine of Greece, Hon. Ferdinand of Vulgaria, Hon, Theo- dore of Sagamore eloped in front of troops crying, ‘Advance forwards!’ Yet Hon. Woodrow could not lead Rough Riders unless they was smoothed off considerable. He was never schooled in art of war, because there was no military academy at Princeton. Also he might drop off his eyeglasses at every San Juan Hill.” “Hon. Roosevelt also wear eye- glasses,” braid Nogi. “That is some difference!" I holla. “ Hon. Roosevelt’s eyeglasses is carniv- orous, Hon. Woodrow’s is vegetarian.” “Do you not believe that Mexico should be captivated by U. S.?" are next cross examine for Nogi. “Most negatively I do not!” “Why shouldn't?” “ Because so,” I ellocute proudishly. “Mexico are full of customs to day. But if she was took by America gun, those customs would disappear off. What would Mexico be without fleas, bull-fights, stingoritas, musical banjos and political murders?” “Political murders is crimes!” depose Nogi with Martin M. Mulhall expression. “In America they are crimes,” I negotiate. “But in Mexico they are national customs, What is a crime in one place is merely a custom some- wheres else. For instancely. Beans is a crime in New York. In Boston they is a virtue. Polygandery of wives is a crime in Chicago. In Utah it are a religious ceremony. Suicide are re- garded very crude enjoyment in De- troit, yet in Japan no family are con- tented without several. Thusly it are with political murders in Mexico. Should America go down there with rocking-chairs, electric chairs and other Yankistical furniture to remove off patriots who have merely shot a presi- dent one time or another? Answer is, Nol! To remove assassination from Mexico would be more crueller than taking baseball away from Phila- delphia.” “And yet I are disgust to see neat Spanish Presidents shot to fractions,” Nogi say so. + “You would probly be disgust to see bull battles or to eat calves stewed in pepper,” I nudge. “ Mexico are probably disgust to observe “ AND YET I ARE DISGUST TO SEE NE/.T SPANISH PRESIDENTS SHOT TO FRACTIONS” comicbooks.com