Life, 1913-08-21 · page 32 of 40
Life — August 21, 1913 — page 32: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three separate humorous pieces typical of early 20th-century American satire: **"Alike After All"**: A Princeton student uses pseudo-scientific reasoning to argue that he and a Vassar girl are "fitted" for each other because they're opposites—he's logical, she's emotional; he's tall, she's short, etc. Her witty rejoinder: they're actually alike in one crucial way—neither can support themselves financially. The satire mocks pretentious male logic and highlights women's economic dependence. **"Didn't Want to Spoil the Fun"**: Four elderly Scottish men are drinking at 5 a.m. when one notices their friend Jack is dead. Rather than disturb their social evening, they decide not to mention it. This dark humor satirizes both Scottish drinking culture and the absurdity of prioritizing conviviality over basic facts. **Minor jokes** about a man who owes the world "an opportunity" by traveling, and another whose "employment" comes from debt collectors chasing him. The page also contains a whiskey advertisement, typical of period magazines.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Alike After All A stunning specimen of the Princeton Tiger was fondly holding the hand of the pretty little Vassar lass, and at last he approached the leading subject coura- geously. “I have carefully studied the matter from the scientific point of view, and am thoroughly convinced that we are Didn’t Want to Spoil the Fun Four old Scotchmen, the remnant of a club formed some fifty years ago, were seated around the table in the club-room. It was 5 a. m. and Dougal looked across to Donald and said in a thick, sleepy voice: “Donald, d'ye notice what an awful perculiar expression there is on Jack's face?" “Aye,” says Donald, “I noticed that; he's dead! He's been dead these four fitted one for the other.” “Please explain yourself,” said she, looking up at him with her large, bright eyes. “Tt is simply this,” he continued, “ ac- cording to science, which is the only way to approach the subject. are light and I am dark. You are-small and I am large and powerful. and I am tall. You see, you You are short You are sprightly, hours.” “What! me?” “Ab, no—no," said Donald. “A'm no that kind o' man to disturb a con- vivial evening.” —Harper’s. vivacious; I am somewhat sober and phlegmatic. In short, we are opposites, and opposites should marry.” “Yes,” she replied; “but there are exceptions to all such rules, and I know of one in this case that is sufficient. I cannot marry you.” “In what respect is this exception made?" he demanded excitedly. “You see," she smiled up at him again, “you are like me in this: I could never earn my own living. —New York Tribune. Dead! Why did ye no tell Santi THE WORLD AT THIS SEASON “Bricotns says he is going to make a trip around the world.” “ Yes," replied Miss Cayenne; “I sup- pose he feels that he owes the world an opportunity to make his acquaintance.” —Washington Star. Bix: Joe says he gives employment to a large number of men. Dix: So he does—other people's bill collectors. —Boston Transcript. Lira publiahed every Thonday, emakancomly In the United Sttes, Great Britain, Canada and Possessions. $5.00 a yrar in advance. — Additional postage to foreiga countries in the Postal Union, $1.04 a tg Canada. sz ceo” "Single current copies, 10 cents 33 cents. "Issues prior to 1910 out of pr APE is for sale by all newntealers in Great Rsain and may be obtained trom booksctery i all the, princed cities of the world. "The foreiga trade supplied from Live's Londos Ofice, Cannoa Howse, Breams Bulkieg. Bice eumbers, after three moaths trom date of pubdate BC Uigem are copyrighted. For Reprint Rights in Great Britain appy to Lark No cont deld self UL be returned wales accompanied by stamped and addressed envelope, on the Last won momreturn ef unsolicited ent Lave docs not id he sent by eubscribers of any change of addres Ustier’s EXCEPTIONAL , GREEN STRIPE WHISKIES The refined product of a firm famous throughout Six Reigns Would-be Suicide: rat tHE LucK! RIGHT FOR TRYING IT ON THE THIRTEENTH! SERVES ME comicbooks.com