Life, 1913-08-14 · page 24 of 40
Life — August 14, 1913 — page 24: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This satirical piece critiques contemporary courtship and marriage through a male narrator's conversation with "the Major." The author argues that virtuous, simple women are undesirable because they lack "mystery," while complicated women who play hard-to-get paradoxically attract men through their inscrutability. The joke's bitter twist: once married, these "mysterious" women reveal themselves as ordinary, leaving husbands wondering why they were fooled. The accompanying cartoons illustrate romantic/marital themes: "Still Waters" depicts courtship scenes, while "Who's Pitching for Philadelphia?" shows a baseball reference (unclear context). The bottom exchange between a "Blasted Britisher" and "London Suffragette" references the women's suffrage movement—she threatens men will become "angels" (dead/emasculated) when women gain equality. This reflects early-20th-century anxiety about changing gender roles.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Diversities of Sex I WAS saying to the Major the other day that somehow the best girls are always the easiest to get. That is why, said the Major, they are probably so seldom obtained. Yes, I said, quite true. The real trouble with the very best girls is that their virtues are also obvious. That is why we are so likely to pass them over. Every desirable virtue is simple, and simplicity is the last thing in a woman that a man seeks for. And it really comes down after all to the task of select- ing the girls with mental complications, or, perhaps I should say, not of selecting them but of being selected by them. The woman with mental complications is constantly on the increase. How can we get rid of this universal creature? The best girl (as I have said) has no element of sur- prise. There is nothing about her that is subtle or mys- terious. On the other hand, the girl with mental compli- cations is almost sure to interest you because you never quite know what she is. There is an apparent mystery about her that keeps one constantly keyed up. You are constantly hoping that the next turn in the page will reveal a source of untold happiness; and so you go on and on, until it is too late. By and by, when you have been led into marrying her, you wake up to the fact that there is in reality no mystery to be solved, except the great one as to why you permitted her to fool you. If we could get rid of the woman with mental complica- STILL WATERS “WHO'S PITCHING FOR PHILADELPHIA?” tions, or if there were some unerring instrument which would record their approach in much the same way that a recent scientist is said to foretell icebergs, what a boon it would be for mankind! And in the long run, probably more of us would get married, because the success of marriage would be more universal. To Contributors: HE announcement of the winner of Lire’s prize for the best answer to the question “ ich is the worst summer resort, and why?” will be published in next wi issue, together with the winning contribution. Blasted Britisher: my worv! we MEN ANGELS, YOU KNOW. London Suffragette: wett! you soon WILL BE.