Life, 1913-08-07 · page 29 of 40
Life — August 7, 1913 — page 29: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This satirical piece describes a recurring social type: a person who habitually uses "side doors" (shortcuts, backdoors, indirect routes) even when unnecessary or self-harmful. The comparison to Judas Iscariot suggests moral compromise and betrayal. The joke is that this person's nature is fixed—marriage won't change them, arguments won't sway them. They choose indirect paths compulsively, regardless of logic or consequences. The piece catalogs varieties of this behavior (lattice, swinging, password types), implying this evasiveness appears across social institutions: offices, clubs, churches. A companion anecdote mocks a wealthy accident victim who fears "investigation" more than surgery, suggesting similar evasiveness among the powerful. This satirizes people who habitually dodge responsibility, take underhanded approaches, or avoid confrontation even when directness would serve them better—a timeless observation of human nature wrapped in early 20th-century institutional critique.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Side Door Man HE Side Door Man has existed ever since the days of J. Iscariot. When he was a baby he crawled in through the side door. He has been doing it ever since. Once a S. D. M. always a S. D. M. In every office and every club there is always a Side Docr Man. Every church has several, The Side Door Man thinks in terms of Side Doors. Don’t get into an argument with him. He will shortly leave by the side door. Marriage does not make side door men. If there is a side door in a man, all that marriage does is to bring it out. There are several varieties of S. D. M. One is the lattice, another is the swinging and another the pass- word variety. You can always tell a Side Door Man by this peculiarity: Even if there is every reason why he should go in the front door, even if by go- ing into the side door he is really hurting himself—these and all the other reasons make no difference. The side door for him every time. He can't get away from it. Feared the Other The man of great financial promi- nence had met with an accident. “We'll have to probe,” said doctor. Just at that moment the man recovered consciousness and exclaimed: “Tf it’s a surgical operation go ahead. but if it's another investigation, give me an anesthetic.”"—Washington Star. the Tow Home Insurance for $3.75 ‘When you need a tow, or the other man does, just reach under the cushion for BASLINE AUTOWLINE Made of famous Yellow Strand Wire Rope It’s 25 feet of flexible steel wire towline. Weighs only five pounds but can pull a 400 pound car up a 20 per cent. grade. You’ not equipped unless you have neat, compact Autowline always ready for the emergen that is bound to come. At your deal- c's, $3.75. FREE. The Astowline Circular explains the whole sub- tect ta photomre for'one today. The Little Steel Rope with the Big Pull. Broderick & Bascom Rope Co. £9 N, 2nd St, St, Louls, Mo, New ‘York Orrice, 76 C Warren St Mownfacsrers of famous Villew Strand Wire Rope ZS. \ZZ CAlfeors WY THE KODAK GIRL AT Home. Every step in film development becomes simple, easy, understandable with a KODAK FILM TANK No dark-room, no tediously acquired skill—and better results than were possible by the old methods. It’s an important link in the Kodak System of “ Photography with the bother left out.” The Experience is in the Tank. Our little booklet, * Tank Development,” free at your dealers or by mail, EASTMAN KODAK COMPANY, RocuesTer, N. Y., The Kodek City. Nothing is_so cheap in the far East as human life. While France anxiously watches the birthrate, China could sacrifice as many people as the whole French population and be all the stronger and more prosperous for it.—Springfield Republican. HAT is the need which China has subtly and subconsciously recognized, ty becom- T ing a republic and by falling “in line” with modern progress. For generations China has been accumulating people, only to find that it is overstocked with them. By becoming civilized, however, this condition will be remedied. All that China needs for this progressive remedy is enough modern machinery to reduce its population to the normal; a nice assortment of railroads, mines, factories and wars will doubtless do the business; if not, add a medical profession. comicbooks.com