Life, 1913-07-24 · page 11 of 40
Life — July 24, 1913 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**Top Image ("Enlargement of the Heart"):** Shows three figures gazing at a moonlit seascape—a romantic scene. The caption's ironic title suggests emotional expansion or sentimentality. **Main Article ("An Open Letter to the Masses"):** The American Association of Academic Academicians addresses social unrest, claiming their committee has been studying the situation. They appeal to the public to remain calm while awaiting their report. The satire mocks academic institutions' perceived detachment and ineffectiveness during social crisis—positioning professors as well-intentioned but ultimately toothless observers offering platitudes rather than solutions. **Bottom Cartoon:** A brief domestic exchange where a mother reminds "Hector" to wipe his feet before entering, juxtaposing mundane domestic concerns against the larger social upheaval discussed above. The page satirizes institutional impotence amid turmoil.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
ENLARGEMENT OF THE HEART An Open Letter to the Masses REETING: At the recent meeting of the American Association of Academic Academicians, composed, as you are no doubt aware, of the leading college professors holding chairs in sociology, political economy, finance, ete, the rapid increase in social and industrial unrest was noted and deplored. Fully realizing for the first time that the matter was directly up to us, we have appointed a committee to search, research, analyze, synthesize and sys- tematize the opinions, facts, possibili- ties and advisabilities of the situation. This committee has been given full power to talk, write, guess, argue, dis- agree, split hairs, alter premises, beg questions, revise conclusions, build syllogisms, ignore facts, devise ques- tionnaires, beat around the bush, go off the handle, create fogs, become con- fused, begin over again, examine his- tory, xpress hopes, utter solemn warnings, look wise, be dignified, and to do all manner of things which in any way will contribute to a satisfac- tory result. In view of this, we feel warranted in issuing this special appeal to the masses. Will you kindly consent to cease your unrest at once and remain in a state of contentment until the report of our committee is received? 147 Just how long this will be we do not know. When, however, we have de- cided how to cure the unrest, it will be decided once for all. Of that you may be sure. Just a word in conclusion. It might occur to some to ask why the American Association of Academic Academicians did not take this up sooner and why in the many erudite volumes for which our members are responsible we have not already reached unalterable con- clusions about the matter? We have, forsooth, considered the matter, and all of us have reached unalterable con- clusions, but the trouble is that no two of these conclusions agree. On the other hand, we have never until now realized that the matter devolved ex- clusively upon our shoulders. We have always felt that if the expound- ers of the simple life and the preachers of contentment to the people had done their full duty and had been sufficiently convincing there would be no social unrest, and consequently it would have been unnecessary for us to at- tack the problem upon a purely ma- terialistic plane. Yours sincerely, AMERICAN AssOctATION or Acapemic ACADEMICIAN per 4. B. Wordworthless, Sec y “7 SEE that our leading bankers are trying to reform the currency. That shows progress.” “Yes. The next step will be to re- form the leading bankers.” Mother: Now, MECTOR, YOU JUST WIPE YOUR PEET BEFORE YOU CLIMB ON THIS SUGAR. comicbooks.com