Life — July 10, 1913 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘il FES Metten, Log. Alas, poor Yoricl I knew him, Horatio: a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy. * * ® Where be your gibes now; your gambols, your songs? your flashes of merri- ment, that were wont to set the table on a roar? Not one now, to mock your own grinning? Hamlet, Act V, Scene 1. The Long and Short of It HE necessity for making love to tall girls is becoming more and more evident. Outdoor physical exercise and other activities, such as riding horseback in suffragette parades, public speaking. ete, have had, during the last decade, a remarkable effect upon the physical stature of women in this country. Our girls are growing taller every year. You see more tall women almost every day. Our men do not seem to be keeping pace with women. Men are becoming more acratic. They do not shoot up as much as women do. A large proportion of men drive motor cars, attend to business, sit on the bleaching boards, and avoid being aggressively physical. They are not shooting up. This means that if you fall in love with a girl, the ‘chances are that she is all the way from six inches to two feet taller than you are. Now, ‘ing love to any girl under the most normal conditions is no easy job. It requires a man’s undivided attention and is apt to keep him up a great deal nights; especially in these days when every girl expects to be entertained in the bargain. One of the important things about love-making is to know where to place the girl's head. It must be placed on your shoulder at the right moment—oftentimes sternly, When you are making love to a tall girl, to have to stop and get a step ladder in order to reach up and kiss her is not a dignified proceeding. You have to be worth altogether too much moncy to neutralize this proceeding. As a rule, tall girls are also rather broad; and, in emergencies, will overlook many things, including your- self, if you are deeply in earnest. With them, it is largely a question of being made love to by somebody or other, and if he happens to be lacking a couple of feet or so, there is no help for that. At the same time, it isn’t con- ducive to any man’s self-respect to feel that the girl to whom he is making love is tolerating him from a sense of magnanimity and because there is no one else in sight. At the present time there seems to be no measure of relief ahead. The gap is growing. It may not be improbable that girls will have to be kissed by wireless unless some kind of portable stilt is devised whereby love can be made on equal terms. Three These things forbear: debts, which eat up earnings; hatreds, which embitter existence; idleness, which short- ens life; habits, which come to be masters; and pretense, which involves one beyond his ability to perform, These things cast away: antipathies, for which a rea- son cannot be given; anger, which breeds hard words; and desires, which destroy peace. These things husband: pennies, which make dollars; minutes, which make opportunity; acquaintances, who are potential friends; and sympathies, which make life worth while, Leander Turney. comicbooks.com