Life, 1913-06-19 · page 39 of 52
Life — June 19, 1913 — page 39: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily a **railroad advertisement** for the New York, New Haven and Hartford Railroad (announcing four new express trains on February 10, 1913), but the left column contains satirical commentary titled "The Suburbanite." The satire mocks the early suburban commuter—a figure newly common in 1913 as people moved to outlying areas while maintaining city jobs. The piece exposes his exaggerations and pretensions: he claims his commute is barely longer than before, yet boasts endlessly about homegrown vegetables, eggs, and fruit that investigations reveal are minimal or nonexistent. He claims to rise at five for golf but has done so only once. He sleeps peacefully while guests confirm he keeps them awake with noise and heat. The satire's point: the suburbanite is a poseur and braggart, trying to convince others (and himself) that suburban life is superior when his wife has already decided to abandon it in autumn. The humor targets the gap between his claims and reality—a recognizable social type emerging with suburban expansion.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
g. in UND The Suburbanite E seeketh with much multiplying of words to make it clear to you that although he now liveth twenty- five miles from the city it taketh him but two and one-third minutes longer to reach his place of business than when he had his place of residence in the city. He hath much to say regarding the way in which he ecateth vegetables from his own garden, when careful in- vestigation revealeth the fact that the full out-put of his garden hath never exceeded six radishes and four toma- toes, with one or two “messes” of lettuce bitter to the taste. He passeth it out that he eateth eggs from his own hens, but the wife of his bosom, having more regard for the virtue of veracity, doth affirm that three eggs a day hath thus far been the full crop of ten hens, and that the expense of the production of these eggs hath been equal to ten cents each, to say nothing regarding the ill will of near neighbors who do not keep hens. He maketh brazen affirmation that he sleepeth under blankets every night when those who have been his guests affirm that they slept not at all be- cause of the heat and the crowing of his rooster throughout the whole of the wearisome night, combined with much barking of dogs and much angry dialogue on the part of many cats, He putteth it up that he findeth great joy in rising at five and “ taking a turn” on the near-by golf links, when it is known to others that he hath never done this but once in his life. He speaketh much and with foolish- ness of the fruit he hath from his own trees, when he knoweth that a worm-eaten pear tree that yieldeth but six gnarly pears a year and two gooseberry bushes supply all the fruit on his domain, He speaketh not quite so fulsomely of the joys of surburban life in the presence of his wife, since she hath issued an edict to the effect that she Preferreth the city and Broadway in particular for her portion, and that her days in as a surburbanite cometh t: an end with the early autumn. He knoweth in his heart of hearts that he is glad that this is to be. J. L. Harbour. “Aw ounce of a man’s own wit is worth a ton of other people's.” —Lawrence Sterne. N an York, New Haven and Hartford Railroad On February 10th, 1913 Four Through Express Trains Joined together New York City AND Northern New England (Maine, New Hampshire and Vermont) “The Green Mountain Express” “The Keene Express” “The Vermonter” “The State of Maine Express” Leave New York (G. C. Ter.) 8.03 A. M. Daily —Via Springfield for Brattleboro, Bellows Falls, White River Junction, Wells River and Newport, Vt., arriving 9.15 P. M. Returning leave Newport 9.40 A.M. Arrive New York 10.35 P. M. Through Buffet Smoking Car, Parlor and Coaches, Leave New York (G. C. Ter.) 11.00 A. M. Daily except Sunday—via Springfield for Keene, N. H., arriving 5.40 P. M. Returning leave Keene 7.30 A.M. Arrive New York 2.05 P. M. Through Buffet Parlor Car and Coaches, Leave New York (G. C, Ter.) 11.50 A. M. Daily —via Springfield for White River Junction, arriving 7.20 P.M. Returning leave White River Junction 9.00 A.M. Amive New York 4.42 P. M. Through Buffet Smoker, Parlor Car, Dining Car and Coaches. Leave New York (G. C. Ter.) 8.10 P. M. Daily —via Springfield and Worcester for Lowell, Mass., Plymouth, N. H., Portland, Augusta and Bangor, Me., amving 11.45 A. M. Leave Bangor 3.45 P. M. weekdays, 1.15 P. M. Sundays. Portland 8.40 P. M., arrive New York 7.05 A. M. Through Sleeping Car to Plymouth, N. H., to Portland, Me. Through Coaches to Portland, Buffet Sleep- ing Car to Bangor, Me. Daily except Saturday to Bangor, and except Sundzy from Bangor. Our ticket agents will give you full information. For Sleeping or Parlor Car Space apply 171 Broadway or Grand Central Terminal, New York The New En ‘land Line comicbooks.com