Life, 1913-06-19 · page 18 of 52
Life — June 19, 1913 — page 18: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple satirical pieces mocking suburban life and middle-class pretensions. **Top cartoons:** Two brief comic strips joke about practical consequences—burglars eating poisoned pies don't need police (implying they'll die from food poisoning), and stolen golf balls suggest the thief is a glutton. **"The Suburban Philanthropist":** The main piece satirizes a booster promoting suburbs as paradise. Smith enthusiastically lists suburban virtues (clean air, good schools, rail access, outdoor clubs, low costs, friendly people) to persuade Jones to move. Jones eagerly agrees—until Smith reveals the punchline: he wants to *sell Jones his own house*, implying the paradise is only desirable as an investment opportunity or escape route. The satire targets the contradiction between genuine suburban idealism and self-interested real estate marketing. Smith's glowing description masks that even suburban enthusiasts view their own homes as commodities to unload on newcomers rather than permanent havens worth keeping.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“ JOHN, THOSE BURGLARS ARE IN THE PANTRY, AT MY PIES AND CAKE, ’PHONE FOR A POLICEMAN QUICK!” “LL PHONE FOR A DOCTOR—THEY WON'T NEED A POLICEMAN.” seule, GOLF NEWS A NUMBER OF BALLS HAV! BEEN STOLEN RE FROM THE GREENDALE GOLF CLUB. THE COMMITTEE THINK THEY ARE ON THE “RACK OF THE CULPRIT. The Surburban Philanthropist iY in the crowded city dwell?” said Smith to Jones, “ My friend, Come to the suburbs—that's where health and thrift and pleasure “Our village is the very pearl of all the region round; Search where you will, no choicer spot could possibly be found. “ Mosquitoes or malaria—we know of no such pest; Life in our pure and bracing air is full of joy and zest. “Our drinking water’s crystal clear; our streets well paved and clean; No smoking factory chimneys, no foul slums, are to be seen, “Our schools are said to rank as high as any in the State; Our churches have good preachers, and are strictly up to date. “ We're not too near the city, and we're not too far away; Two lines of rail in easy reach, with thirty trains a day. “'Tis simply an ideal place for healthful outdoor sports; We've boating clubs and country clubs, golf links and tennis courts. “ The stores are wonderfully good, the cost of living low; The people, too, are friendly folk—they’d welcome you, 1 know.” “Why, ‘tis a paradise!” said Jones. would be fine; But could a stranger enter it? Where all these joys com- Dine, A vacant house must be unknown!” Said Smith: “I'll sell you mine!” R. H. Titherington. “To live there