Life — May 15, 1913 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

With'a Secretary of State be ELL, Lire!” “Why, hello, Mr. Bryan! Glad to see you. Sit down. What will you have—grape juice or Mellin’s food?” “Neither. I have just given a din- ner to some foreign Ambassadors and 1 am very comfortable, thank you.” “Sorry to hear that, Mr. Bryan. Anybody who feeds foreign Ambas- sadors on non-alcoholic products ought not to feel too comfortable.” “Do you mean to say that I have no right to force other people to do as I want them to in my own house?) My own convictions and prejudices are sacred.” “My dear Mr. Bryan, don’t talk about it. The subject is too painful. Besides, I am awfully fond of you.” “And I am fond of you, Lr but I icated do wish you weren't so sophi sometimes.” “You judge me cruelly, Mr. Bryan. I am really as innocent as a lamb. Let's get down to business, however. What did you come in to see me about?” “ Anybody around?” “Not a soul.” “Well, to be candid, Lire, I am a little bit nervous about myself. “I have secret and almost uncontrollable de- sires.” Speak freely, Mr. Bryan—nobody’s around.” “Tr’s all I can do not to sit in my shirt sleeves on the back of the capitol steps; not to conduct a Congressional revival meeting; not to have family prayers at the head of Pennsylvania Avenue every morning; not to make speeches all over the country ; and——” “But, my dear Mr. Bryan, I thought you were doing all that now.” “Not quite, Lire, but I know I shall. I simply can’t help it. In spite of my big brain, my intense and genuine pa- triotism and my undoubted sincerity, there is a provincial streak in me which I can’t seem to get rid of.” “Don't do it, Mr. Bryan. It is one of your chief charms. You know you JL. FE = Sanctum Talks could not hold down your job and be as narrow as you are if you were not so broad. So long.” “So long, Lire. Not a word, mind you! With a Prominent King “TS this Lire?” “Yes, sir. Ferdinand of Bul- garia, I am delighted to see you. I didn’t recognize you at first.” “T have come over here to talk with you a few moments about my country What do you think about it?” “My dear King Ferdinand, I think a great deal about it. It is a great pleasure to meet Bulgaria, especially when we have not seen her now for several centuries. But why call her your country?” “Ah! Lire, that is the singular part of European poli It used to be that a man was king over his own country; but now any country is likely to have any king it can get.” “And you seem to fit into Bulgaria very well, sire.” “Yes, I have become very fond of it. You know, for about twenty years we have been working to put those Turks out.” “And you certainly did it. I notice, by the way, that you fought them with their own weapons.” “ How so, Lire?” “You began the war by stating that this was a Christian war against a bar- barian—or words to that effect.” “Yes—great inspiration for my troops.” “And by the way, King Ferdinand, about how many people did you lose?” “Oh, not more than a hundred thou- sand. We still have a few left.” “That's good. You may need them.” “What for, Lire?” “Why, to fight against your allies. You know, my dear King, you wouldn’t be free if you didn’t do that?” “That's so, Lire. I hadn't thought of it, but—that’s so.” “You bet it’s so, King Ferdinand. Glad to have met you.” “Thank you, Lire. Good morning.” “Good morning.” With a Medical Visitor “TS this——?” “Yes, doctor. You look tired.” “Tam tired, Lire. I have just fin- ished inoculating four hundred and sixty-five poor people.” And don’t you feel very wicked to think that you are wasting valuable time with me, when you might be in- oculating twice as many more?” “Yes, Lire, but then one must have some leisure, even when reaping such a golden harvest as this, and so I have come in to— “To congratulate yourself, Doctor Friedmann?” “No—to register a complaint. To be candid with you, I am disappoint- ed”, “Disappointed! Impossible! How can any one from a foreign country, who comes over here to fool American people, be disappointed? You amaze me!" “But Lire! you don’t understand. I have been misinformed.” “ How misinformed?” “T thought that it was only neces- sary for me to come and that every- body would believe me.” “But doesn’t everybody believe you, doctor?” “Well, not quite. The newspapers have been jibing at me.” “That is only their little way. They are secretly envious of your reputa- tion.” “But the doctors have shied at me.” “That is only because they are like- wise envious,” “But the Government has actually mistrusted me. “That is nothing, doctor. Our Gov- ernment even mistrusts itself. Why should it believe in anybody else? “But worse than that, Lire; some of the patients whom I have been inocu- lating with my virus declare that they are not getting any better. Many of them are even having the discourtesy to die.” “Well, doctor?” “Well, don’t you think this is dis- couraging ? me comicbooks.com