Life, 1913-04-17 · page 39 of 52
Life — April 17, 1913 — page 39: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two major elements: **"Revised Especially for Alabama"** is a satirical political essay mocking Alabama's resistance to child labor laws and educational reform. Written as a mock Declaration of Independence, it sarcastically argues that children have "the right to be illiterate and the right to die young" and that factories should be protected from interference by schools. This attacks Alabama's industrial interests and their opposition to child welfare legislation—a major Progressive Era reform issue. **"Liars Wanted"** is a biting critique of military recruitment advertising. The ad parodies how the Army and Navy use romanticized imagery (tropical climates, leisure, "voluptuous dusky maidens") to deceive young men about military service, explicitly calling for "conscienceless liars" to create propaganda targeting "impressionable youngsters." This reflects anti-war and anti-militarism sentiment, likely from the World War I era. The page's advertisements (perfume, tires) are straightforward commercial content, unrelated to the satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“ETEE™ 799 Coeur Jeannette INETTE) THE perfume chosen for her own use by Queen Alexandra and presented to her friends. Women who || use it associate themselves with royalty in their good taste. duction cf HOUBIGANT, Paris, Coeur de Jeannette, ranks exclusive in its marvelous glory and rarest charm. At leading dealers, 2-02. bottle, $3.15. ‘Sample bottle mailed for 20c. PARK & TILFORD, 225 Fifth Ave., NEW YORK Sole Agents in United States and Canada Revised Especially for Alabama Wien in the course of human events it becomes necessary fora State to burn its candle at both ends and to advance backwards as fast as aristocratic inertia will permit, a de- cently chivalrous attitude toward the rest of mankind, even though all other humans be considered inferior, re- quires that we should declare the causes that prompt us to the said in- dulgence. We hold these truths to be dent: that all children are ci profit; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights; that among these are the right to toil, the right to be illiterate and the right to die young; that to secure these cot- ton mills are instituted by their elders which derive their just powers from the consent of capitalists and finan- ably assisted by public-spirited ans; that when schools and other educational institutions are found interfering with these infantile rights, it is the duty of capitalists and solid business men to abolish them and build more factories. Upon this eter- nal and humanitarian eleventh-century Principle we take our stand and here we rest. Ipse Dixie. LOU!se: What beautiful hair you have! Jutta: If you really admire hair, come to see me and I'll show you my collection. This exquisite pro- |] Liars Wanted ANTED—Immediately—Conscienceless and convincing liars to write adver- tisements and draw pictures for the army and navy. These advertisements and pictures must be shrewdly calculated to reach the susceptibilities of romantic youth. Life in the army and navy must be pictured as one continuous round of pleasure, chiefly beneath the sunny skies and amid the luxuriant verdure of some far-off tropical clime, where the happy enlisted man, unburdened by sordid menialities, may loll on the tapering sward, while voluptuous dusky maidens bring him cooling drinks and disport for his delight. This is but a hint. See posters in any post- office. There is no limit to the lies we are willing to tell in order to get hold of im- pressionable youngsters. Address Army and N “Yes sir, that extra tread is the best tire feature I have ever seen” “Does it give more mileage? Well, I should say so! Though they cost more than other tires, Republic Staggard Tread Tires are really the most economical ‘tires you can buy.” Republic Tires really do give more mileage. The long, sturdy studs of the “Staggard"* Tread—though an integral part of the un- derlying plain tread, are actually an extra thickness and addition. This gives extra mileage, for when th aggard” studs wear off—as they eventually will—you still have left a full-thickness plain tread that is good for thousands of miles of service. REPUBLIC StAc&Fp TREAD TIRES What's more, Republic Staggard Tread Tires stand for the acme of non-skid efficiency. The long, tough studs give resist- ance where it is needed and hold to slippery pavements with spike-like tenacity. Your brake control and traction are perfect. THE REPUBLIC RUBBER COMPANY, Youngstown, Ohio Branches and Agencies in the Principal Cities Washington, D. C. Republic Stoggard Tread—Pat. Sept, 1$-22, 1908. comicbooks.com