Life, 1913-04-17 · page 19 of 52
Life — April 17, 1913 — page 19: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes women's suffrage activism through two distinct pieces: **"Ode to a Calfskin Boot"** mocks a suffragette's worn shoe that marched in Washington demonstrations. The poem humorously elevates this humble boot to historical artifact status, comparing it to relics like Dolly Madison's clothing. The joke: a woman's shoe—discarded and worthless after the campaign—becomes her only legacy, suggesting the futility of women's political activism. **"Something Just as Good"** critiques West Virginia Governor Hatfield's military court system. The editorial sardonically praises his claim that military trials provide justice "just as good" as civilian courts, despite his serving as prosecutor, judge, and jury simultaneously—an obvious absurdity. The closing anecdote about a Boston preacher's malapropism ("above suspishun") reinforces the mockery of inferior substitutes masquerading as adequate. **The cartoon** titled "Survival of the Fittest" (bottom) appears to illustrate street fighting or boxing—its specific reference unclear without additional context. The page overall ridicules both women's political ambitions and arbitrary government authority.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
‘LIFE: 779 Ode Something Just as Good (To a Calfskin Boot That Marched to Washington EST VIRGINIA’S experiment is worth watching. on a Suffrage Mission) Governor Hatfield says Every person charged with crime in the military district and tried by the mili- O GENEROUS shoe! Whose stout sole never shrank tary commission will get a fair trial and the same safe- To meet th’ uncowered dust of Maryland; guards will be thrown about them as if they were being Who uppermost appeared on every hand tried by a jury of twelve of their peers in a civil court.” When into Jersey's mud your wearer sank; Governor Hatfield doesn't exactly mean the “same Who, when th’ embattled farmers crowded round safeguards.” He means safeguards that are fully as good To be converted by your lady’s speech, in every respect. There is no better authority in the mat- Gave her as firm support as could be found, ter than Governor Hatfield, of course, for his word in the And helped her vamp up arguments for each: situation is the only law. He is prosecutor, judge, jury, Fair laurels you might hope to win; statute and constitution all rolled into one. Indeed law Alas! you've come from thick to thin! libraties are hors de combat in this military court to a greater extent than in most, for, as Governor Hatfield is a physician, his guide must be Esculapius rather than For low you lie upon the closet floor; Blackstone. Your fickle mistress will not wear you more. Perhaps Governor Hatfield has found a kind of justifi- Her legislators she prefers to stump cative serum by the use of which a man may place himself With weighty Oxford or with agile pump in the hands of his enemies with infinite impunity. Why haggle over mere words? “Civil,” “ military,” tweedle- dum, tweedledee. If one is just as good as the other, let To-day unpolished you must pine, us not embarrass the Governor at this time by asking the But lol to-morsow you-may shine basis of his preference. Did someone say: Accept no sub- In some museum of the land, stitutes? Why not? Let us not be dogmatic. . Where relics of our history stand, Stand your ground, Governor. Should anybody ask if Moll Plicher’s sarcenet’ farthingale you have a yard and a half of good, old-fashioned justice, Should give son’ weteome without fail do not hesitate to look him straight in the eye and say: As one who strove, through woe and weal, “No, but here is something just as good which I make To bring the tyrant foe to heel; myself.” £.0.4. And Dolly Madison's paduasoy — Should greet you with the utmost joy; “MA breddren,” cried a Boston colored preacher, “ye For Dolly saved the Declaration; must be like great Caesar's ghost—above sus- You to her sex declared salvation! spishun!” 7 RawAUascyUaE TD i ya P FATHER | ? il men M7 Wn ican SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST A FORTUNE IN ONE FIGHT A FIGHT ALL THE YEAR ROUND (C EXIST comicbooks.com