Life, 1913-04-03 · page 34 of 52
Life — April 3, 1913 — page 34: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains **three separate humorous anecdotes** plus advertisements—typical of Life's satirical format. **The Job Nurser**: Senator Lodge's parable about Si Hoskins, a muskrat shooter who refuses to actually shoot because killing the muskrats would cost him his job. The satire targets **congressional investigating committees**, comparing them to this self-perpetuating bureaucrat—they exist indefinitely not to solve problems but to maintain themselves. **Explaining the Needle**: A former typesetter, skilled at excusing misprints, becomes a waiter and serves soup containing a needle. He dismisses it as a "misprint" that "should have been a noodle." The joke mocks those who rationalize incompetence through absurd explanations. **Modern Methods**: Argues against helping poor stray cats, suggesting it "pauperizes" them—satirizing misguided charitable philosophy. The page also includes advertisements for **McCallum silk hosiery** and **Pond's Vanishing Cream**, with period-appropriate promotional photography.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Job Nurser Senator Lodge was talking in Boston about certain investigating committees. “They are like the brook,” he said. “They flow on forever. Some of them, in fact, remind me strongly of Si Hos- kins. “Si Hoskins got a job last spring at shooting muskrats, for muskrats overran the mill owner's dam. “There, in the lovely spring weather, Si sat on the grassy bank, his gun on his knee, and finding him thus one morning, I sai SANT SEISSRS, NT, Nl OLSG at Ba8G Explaining the Needle A typesetter in a printing house be- came very adroit in explaining the large number of misprints for which he was responsible. Even when he changed his work and became a waiter in a restau- rant, his skill did not forsake him. One day he had served a guest with a \ plate of soup, and was turning away, when he was called back sharply. cried the in- in my “This is an outrage! dignant diner, “I find a needle What are you doing, Si?’ “‘Y'm paid to shoot the muskrats, sir,’ he answered, ‘They're underminin’ soup! What does this mean?” the dam.’ suc “Just a misprint, sir,” explained the “There goes one now,’ said I. 1 former typesetter. “It should have been “Shoot, man, Why don’t you shoot?" a noodle.”—Youth's Companion. “Si puffed a tranquil cloud from his wr pipe and said: Modern Methods “*Do you think I want to lose my j , . job?'"—Washington Star. “TL believe I'll give that poor stray ove eat a piece of meat.” — “What, and pauperize the cat! Al- ¥ st ways help the poor to help themselves. 5 tgs your bushand Often come to the J Scatter some crumbs on the sidewalk. tare n ee a viadlc andietl i are : ; re: My husband isn't sociable any- grab.”—Louisville Courier-Journal, Mocah ucwcbeteccsties concnes wr | Lars Is published every Thursday, smukaneously tn the United States, Great Britain, Canada and British Live is tor sale by all pewsdealers in Great Britain and may be obtained from booksellers | Possessions. $5.00 a year in advance. Additional postage to foreign countries in the Portal Union. $1.06 citien of the world. The rade supplied {rom Lirk's Loadoa Othce, Cannon House, Be He vents to Conass, 42 cots Sagle cuttent copicn 1 cease Muck nembety chet wee moons fies Leadon EG | ate of ptticaton, 25 ceutss losees prior to 1910 carol prac The txt and (asta No contribution will be returned unless accompanied by stamped and addreved envelege, Lave dees not held itulf Southampton Rew, Londen, HW’. C. Fir rapenible for the las o7 mancraurn of unnliited cantributionse Prompt matifcation should be wet by mubseribers of anv chante of ads testis = were cond F you are undecided as to Tr per . 200 which silk hose to buy, just ae compare McCallum Silk Ho- allb : 4 = siery with any other. You'll qT find its rich quality and fine, . = even weave make other silk as a rose form hosiery look ordinary. ik * - Whe i f Pond's troll The quality of materials Vanishing Cream the Jacque Rose ae j d th fragrance rires as dainty and fresh ren an 1e as from a real rose blossom. tensi conscientious This inviting perfume is only one hich fol. hick’ make Vaniing Cream is carewhich lo! much more delightful than other afl e lowsevery step preparations. tent Another {s th id dit: ofmanufacture wiih whic iis bored Dy ake skin, “It may ‘be applied. ireely have made without injury to gloves, .vell or . McCallum’s clothing. : {Te anlahing Cream for your. f Used bef ‘totecld self. We will gladly send a li the silk hose wind,youvill fnd Vanishing Cream {ube upon request, of a tube sufi a wid you wll find Yamising C™CA™ cient for two, weeks uee UDO he) you can depend ventative against chaps, drytens Dt of four cents in stamps. . and irritation, that you ever im- Pond's Extract Co., Dept. L. ee for all-around agined. 131 Hudson St New Vork City. e satisfaction, Ponds Extract @mpany’s tall In. all the newest V Gyles, upwards ANISHING CREAM be from $1 « Tubu- POND'S EXTRACT—" The Standard for 60 Years” lar silk ties to foothes ond cols im emereency, pr. is ry ly for those every-day injuries Unusually good for wear. Tes be Such eS “eats, bruises, burns, ee Bra ore b 4 Triat bottle mailed for 4c in stamps McCallum osiery Company all best cower postore. NORTHAMPTON, MASS. dealers, = = comicbooks.com