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Life, 1913-03-13 · page 32 of 44

Life — March 13, 1913 — page 32: what you’re looking at

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Life — March 13, 1913 — page 32: Life, 1913-03-13

What you’re looking at

This page is primarily **advertising and entertainment listings**, not political satire. The main content includes: **Advertisements:** Neylist's Cocoa (featuring a cherub-like child), Cook's Champagne, billiards tables, and a "Sexology" instructional book—typical early 20th-century product placements. **"Life's Musical Calendar":** A comprehensive listing of New York concerts and opera performances (March 11-16), indicating the magazine's urban, culturally affluent readership. **Humor Section:** A brief joke about a commercial traveler boasting his company is "so big" they didn't notice three cashiers and four bookkeepers were missing—a gentle satire on corporate inefficiency and bureaucratic absurdity. **"Youthful Definers":** A lighthearted segment where children provide humorous definitions (e.g., "A boy is made of a lot of bones with flesh put around"). The page reflects *Life*'s identity as a magazine for educated, urban Americans interested in culture, business humor, and consumer goods.

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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

[ESE 42 Cocoa is the food drink for the boys and girls to grow on, work on, play on. us, ithas an unusual Pure, wholesome, deli delicacy of flavor which is due to the special e&4e blend of the cocoa beans. It is differ- ent from any other cocoa. 10c, 15c, 25e packages. S49 Baking and Cooking Chocolate (Premium, Nlue_ Wrapper), unsweetened, Hrlb, cakes, 20c; M-Ib. cakes, 10c. <Ss44 Vanilla Chocolate (Pink Wrapper), sweet, Sc, 10c, 20¢ cal All sold by dealers everywhere. If your dealer has none, please send ws his name 64 Irving Place New York System ? A commercial traveler was bragging about the magnitude of the firm he rep- resented. “TT suppose your house is a pretty big establishment?” said the customer. “Big? You can't have any idea of its dimensions. Last week we took an in- ventory of the employees, and found out for the first time that three cashicrs and four bookkeepers were missing. That will give you some idea of the magnitude of our business.”—Lippincott’s, Life’s Musical Calendar Tuesday, March 11, Carnegie Hall — Faster concert of the Musical Art So- ciety. A programme of compositions for mixed chorus, under the direction of Mr. ank Damrosch. ‘lian Hall (Afternoon).—Song re- cital by Herbert Witherspoon Wednesday, March 12, Metropolitan Opera House.—Offenbach’s “Tales of Hoffmann.” Cornegic Second concert of the Schola Cantorum: the MacDowell Club Chorus, under the leadership of Mr, Kurt Schindler, presenting a number of modern works without accompaniment. Thursday, March 13, Metropolitan fternoon) Massenet’s ench version of a rather pointless love story. (Evening).—“ Il Trovatore,” the most hackneyed and still the most popular of Verdi's old Carnegic Hell: -The Philharmonic So ciety in a programme devoted to the “romantic composers.” Weber, Schu- mann, Schubert and Mendelssohn. Hall.—Benefit concert in aid of the Night Camp Auxiliar: Friday, March 14, Metropolitan Opera House—Wagner’s “ Walkire,” rejuve- nated by the recent additions to the Ger- man cast. Carnegie Hall (Afternoon), — Second concert of the Philharmonic Orchestra. Acolian Hall (Afternoon).—Mr. Wal: ter Damrosch and the New York Sym- phony Orchestra. (Evening).—Orchestral_concert of the compositions of Celeste D, Heckscher. Saturday, M Metropolitan Opera House. —(Afternoon) Frieda Hem- ing performance of Verdi's ever-popular Carnegie Hall (Afternoon).—The last of a series of concerts for young people, illustrating the relationship of music and dancing. Sunday, March 16, Metropolitan Opera Afternoon).—The New Symphony Society, assisted _ by Slena Gerhardt, the German “ Lieder- a A Happy Marriage Depends largely on a knowl edge of the whole truth about self and sex aod their relation to life and bealtb, This nowleige does not come intellizently of itself, nor correctly from ordinary, every-day sources, SEXOLOGY (Ulustrated) by William U1. Walling, A.M. . M.D, imparts in a clear, wholesoine way in one volume ed, "32 . postoeld. ‘Write for “Other People’s Opinions” and Table of Contents Puritan Pub. Co., 776 Perry Bidg., Phila., Pa. BILLIARDS AT HOME Have your own Burrowes Billiard and Poo! Table. Afew cents per day will buy it, No special billiard room needed. Whitefor particulars ‘THE E.T BURROWES CO.. 273 Free St.. Portland. Me. is a double compliment— it is the best tothe best. What has a daintier, lighter palate touch than a bright, delicious glass of BERS hhamnypagme It sparkles on the tongue as well as in \¢ A the glass—fragrant with the bouquet of the finest grapes—distinctively exquisite of flavor. ‘The difference between the cost of Cook's and the cost of foreign made champagnes is represented by the dafy on the imported wines, Cook's for all occasions. Sold Everywhere and Served Everywhere American Wine Co. St.Louis, Mo. ta Youthful Definit‘crs In order to give his scho'ars a firm grip on original composition, a school- master believes in the value of what he calls “an exercise in framing defi- nitions.” After ‘illustrating what was wanted, he set the little boys to write ntence definitions of “boy” and Here are a few of the ideas A boy is made of a lot of bones with flesh put round them.” “A girl is nearly the same, but we do not cut her hair.” “A boy is born a baby.” “A girl is only ribs out of a man’ body.” “A girl is God's sheep.” “ boy is a ordinary creature made out of dust, and so is a girl."—Tit-Bits. comicbooks.com