Life — March 13, 1913 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

By Way of England Mr. Champ Clark has the happy knack of being able to parry incon- venient interruptions with some smart retort that immediately squashes the op- position. He was speaking at a rather noisy mecting not long ago, and after a short time a big chunk of wood was thrown at him, Fortunately, the aim was tad, and it fell harmlessly on the platform. Mr. Clark picked it up and showed it to the audience. “Good heavens!” he exclaimed in tones of mock anxicty, “one of our op- ponents has lost his head —Pearson's Weekly. Could Reach It A temperance lecturer was enthusiasti cally denouncing the use of all intoxi- cants. “T wish all the beer, all the wine, all the whiskey in the world was at the hottom of the ocean,” he said. Hastily Pat arose to his feet. “Sure, and so do I, sor,” he shouted. “T wish every bit of it was at the bot- tom of the s As they were leaving the hall the lee- turer encountered Pat. “T certainly am proud of you,” he said. “It was a brave thing for you to rise and say what you did. Are you a teetotaler?” “No, indade, sor,” answered Pat. “T'm a diver."—Cleveland Leader. Wine Jelly when flavored with Abbott's cents, in stamps. C. W. Abbott & Co., Baltimore, Md. ters is made more delightful and healthful, Sample of bitters by mail, 25 THE TRADE MARK that, stands for WHITING PAPERS for Fine Corre- spondence or Gen- yyy tig PAPER COMPANY Philedelphia cral Business Uses are America’s best. They have given satisfaction to a multitude of users for nearly half a century. They are made in tints and surfaces to suit all tastes. You can get them at any first- class stationer’s. New York quality in fine writing papers WHITING'S WOVEN LINEN is pre€minently satisfactory for the Chicago use of men in their personal letter writ- ing. It has long been a favorite among men of taste in all parts of the United States, and especially among congressmen at Washington. Are you using it? If not, try it. When you think of writing think of Whiting , OSS TSOTR --U-ALL-NO: AFTER DINNER MINT Adelicious. creamy ca v- ALL “NO wins tiovor “AarTER DINNER BIB) all its own. Sold in tin boxes only ~never in cruaing ey) bulk. } manure RICA y are supplied every year direct to more Ameri- can planters: t th in are the seeds y other urpee’s Seeds (52325 Fsdeiphis’> ? it not, we should like to make Yo oeaualntance: | Simply, send us your address (a postal card will do) and you will receive Burpee’s Annual dor '1913,-a bright book of 180 pages, which has long been recognized as ‘* The Leading American Seed Catalog.” inaly write to-day! Address W. ATLEE BURPEE & CO., Burpee Buildings, Philadelphia HUNTER ALTIMORE RYE THE HIGHEST TYPE OF WHIS. KEY EXCELLENCE, PURITY AND FLAVOR, THE CONNOIS- SEUR’S FIRST CHOICE Sold at all Orst-ciass cafes and by jobbers. WM. LANAHAN & SON, Baltimore, Md. oe Language Dr. Osler tells the following to illus- trate the elasticity of the English lan- guage, as used by the Southern negro. One day there came to the clinic a negress with a broken jaw. The exam- ining physician, intent on discovering the exact nature and extent of the in- jury, asked numerous questions. To all of them the negress returned evasive answers. Finally, she admitted that she was “hit by a object.” Was it a large object or a small ob- ject?" asked the physician. “Tolle'by large.” “Was it a hard object or a soft ob- ject?” “Tolle'by hard.” “Was it coming rapidly or slowly?” “Tolle'by fast.” Then, her patience exhausted, the ne- gress turned to the physician. “To tell the truth, doctor, I was jest simply kick’d in the face by a gen'leman friend.” ybody’s. @ Pinch, use ALLEN’S FOOT-EASE You Bet! Every married man can name one woman who has a fine husband. —Woman's Home Companion. Maxy housekeepers can sympathize with the old Virginia lady who said to her friend, on finding a treasured old cup cracked by a careless maid: “I know of nothing to compare with the affliction of losing a handsome piece of old china.” “Surely,” said the friend, “it is not so bad as losing one’s children.” “Yes it is, for when your children die you do have the consolation of re- ligion, you know."—Argonaut. GREAT BEAR SPRING WATER 50 cents per case of 6 class atoppered bottles comicbooks.com 100