Life, 1913-03-13 · page 28 of 44
Life — March 13, 1913 — page 28: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several short humorous pieces typical of early 20th-century American satire magazines: **"An Expensive Library"** mocks Robert Ingersoll, a famous atheist and orator, quoting his claim that his collection of "infidel books" cost him political opportunities—the Illinois governorship and perhaps the U.S. presidency. The joke satirizes both Ingersoll's priorities and the religious prejudice that would exclude a freethinker from high office. **"Simplified"** ridicules overly intellectual parents who use unnecessarily complex language (adipose tissue, epithelium) when explaining simple nursery rhymes to children. **"An Invisible Belle"** is a brief romantic joke about a woman ignored because she's not visibly attractive. **"The 17th of March"** features Irish-dialect humor about a street-cleaner riding a horse during a St. Patrick's Day parade. The page also includes a Felicita Corsets advertisement and miscellaneous jokes. The content reflects period attitudes toward religion, education, ethnicity, and gender typical of 1910s American humor.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
OL83. 8 A529 An Expensive Library Robert Ingersoll was famous for the library of infidel books which he pos- sessed. One day a reporter called on Mr. Ingersoll for an interview, and among other questions asked was: “Would you mind telling me how much your library cost you, Mr. Inger- soll?” Looking over at his shelves he an- swered: “Well, my boy, these books cost me anyhow the Governorship of Illinois, and perhaps the Presidency of the United States —Ladies’ Home Jozrnal. “You know who he is “Yes,” replied the other, “he is worth a couple of millions. Is just out of col- lege; was educated at Harvard.” “Oh, no,” rejoined the first speaker. “He wasn't educated at Harvard. He went to school there.” —Springfeld Republican, WHo EVE BAG-PIPE Beitish 5.00 4 year In advance. ial portage to foreign countries in the Postal Union, $1.06 a years to Canada, $2 cents, Single current copies, 10 cents Back numbert, alter three montbs trom date of pablication, 25 cents. Issues prior to 1910 oat of print. No contribution will be returned wnlew accompanied br ramped and addrened envalepe, L17® dees met held ttulf reipeniible for the low or non-return af umsaicited exmtrioutions An Invisible Belle “Who is the belle to-night?” asked she, As they stood on the ball-room floor, He looked around the room to see, And she speaks to him no more. —Cape Cod Item, Simplified Boston Five-Yran-Oup: Father, what is the exact meaning of the verse begin- ning “Jack Sprat could eat no fat?” Farner: In simple terms it is as fol- lows: Jack Sprat could assimilate no adipose tissue. His wife, on the other hand, possessed an aversion for the more muscular portions of epithelium. And so between them both you sce, they re- moved all the foreign substances from the surface of that utilitarian utensil, commonly called platter. Does that make it clear, son? Boston Five-Yrar-Ov: Perfectly, father. The lack of lucidity in these Mother Goose rhymes is amazingly ap- parent!—Woman’s Home Companion, “1 MAY LOOK THE PART ALL RIGHT—BUT EARD OF A DUCK PLAYING THE “ Witat sort of a man is Pickledorf?” “ Absolutely helpless without a cork- "Birmingham Age-Herald. Lire jn for sale by all Newsveslers in Hrtain and may be obtained from booksellers ta all the principal of the world, ‘The foreign trade supplied from Lirr's London ($cc, Cannon House, resis Buldngs ne EC, Southampton Row, Landon, WC Prompt natincation snsald be sont bv vebucribers of any chante of address are coprvighted. For Reprint Rights in Great Britain apply te Lave, 110 Established Half a Century Registered Trade Mark FELICITA CORSETS At McCutcheon's The illustration shows one of our ~ beautiful new spring models, of . It has extreme length in skirt and low bust, silk clastic webbing over the’ ab- domen, confining the hips and gives freedom and comfort. This model gives straight hipless lines and is excellent for the n dium and stout figures. Sizes 20 to 34, price $16.50. Other Felicita models are shown in an extensive variety of styles, in cotton and silk batiste, plain coutils and broches, to suit every style figure. Prices $5.00, 6.50, 7.50, 8.50 to 20.00. We also carry a full line of the famous Gossard ‘Laced Front” “orse' Mail Orders Receive Our Prompt Altention. James McCutcheon & Co. 5th Ave. & 34th St. New York THE 17TH OF MARCH “ PHWAT ARE YEZ DOIN’ HERE, CASEY? THE KRIST AV THE PARADE IS FOIVE BLOCKS AIFAD 0° YEZ “SURE, AN OI’ ROIDIN’ A MORSE THET RELONCS TO THE STHREET CLEANIN’ DEPARTMENT, AN’ HE SHTOPS IVERY TOIME ME COMES TO AN ASH BARREL—BAD LOOK TO 11M.” comicbooks.com