Life, 1913-03-06 · page 55 of 72
Life — March 6, 1913 — page 55: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
The left column features "How to Make Socialists," a biting critique of capitalist abuses attributed to E.O.J. (likely Eugene O'Neill or similar). The piece sarcastically lists methods to radicalize workers: forming monopolies, creating unemployment, flaunting wealth while condemning worker extravagance, building unsafe factories, opposing reforms, and speaking of laborers as inferior. The satire's point: capitalists themselves create socialism through exploitation and hypocrisy. This reflects early 20th-century American anxieties about labor unrest and rising socialist movements. Rather than defending capitalism, the author suggests capitalists are foolishly generating their own opposition through obvious injustices. The right side contains a tire advertisement—standard magazine filler—unrelated to the political commentary.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
How to Make Socialists Form trusts and gouge the consu- mer on every purchase he is compelled to make. Throw men out of jobs. Then curse them for being lazy and arrest them as vagrants. Display your wealth in as insulting a manner as possible at the same time you are telling working men not to be extravagant, Arrange your factories so that in case of fire it is practically impossible for the working men and women to escape. In politics be conservative and stead- fast when even the most obvious and common-sense reform is urged. Assume that a capitalist is innocent until he is proved guilty and that a workman is guilty till he is proved in- ; HEAVY CAR TYPE cen Town Car Tread Do not raise wages until it is abso- I Ss K I lutely necessary, and then complain bitterly that all employees are selfish and unfair. The ideal tires for slippery road conditions. They If a forced increase of wages adds, recent skidding. Made in the exclusive HEAVY say, ten per cent. to the cost of your CAR TYPE construction that insures an extra product, add thirty per cent. to the layer of rubber on the tread, two breaker strips price, and then blame it all on your instead of one, and a balanced tire into which is employ ces. built the strongest? resistance to road wear. Put children into factories and mines Write for Descriptive Literature at an early age so they will have no THE FISK RUBBER CO. opportunity to cultivate a love for the OF N. Y. conditions under which they live. Dept. S Branches in 41 Cities. Chicopze Falls, Mass. Always speak of working men and women as of a different and inferior class. This will tend to solidify them and drive them away from the politi- cal parties you control. Do all these things openly and ar- rogantly, and if people object accuse them of trying to foment class hatred. E. O. J. The Pleasures of Obscurity It is apparent from this anecdote that a story, although 2,200 years old, can still be fresh and amusing. It is a per- sonal anecdote of Chuang Tzu, a bril- liant Chinese writer and philosopher of the fourth century B. C. Chuang Tzu was fishing in. the P’ River when the Prince of Ch’u sent two Section Fisk Town Car Tread Tire ficials to ask him to take charge the two off ie ng its tail of the administration of that province. in the ig Chuang Tzu went on fishi: 5 “Begone!” cried Chuang Tzu. “TI, without turning his head, said, “I have too, will wag my tail in the mud.” heard that in Ch’u there is a sacred tor- —Youths’ Companion. toise that has been dead some three thou- ‘The art of becoming beautiful ts the cholce of the Droper akds to beauty. El Perfecto Veda Rose Rouge 's the one rouge used by women who value beautiful fomplexions. “Cannot be detected. Guarani armless." Send for free samples Ousrantend tele Agents—GEO. BORGFELDT & CO. pith Street and Irving Place, New York tributors of World-famous Tolle Preparations sand years, and that the prince keeps this tortoise carefully enclosed in a chest on the altar of his ancestral temple. Now would this tortoise rather be dead and have its remains venerated, or be alive and wagging its tail in the mud?” “Tt would rather be alive,” replied os Snatches of Conversation at the Brown- ing Club Tea “Butter the size of an egg "—" With lace insertion "—" Far be it from me to say a word against her, | ” —Horper’s Weekly. comicbooks.com