Life, 1913-03-06 · page 50 of 72
Life — March 6, 1913 — page 50: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertising and humor content**, not political satire. The main elements include: **Advertisements:** - A **Dependo Gasoline Gauge** ($7.50) for early automobiles—a practical innovation for cars that lacked reliable fuel measurement - Orange Blossom candies and Calox tooth powder **Humor Sections:** - "Our Foolish Contemporaries": Short satirical vignettes mocking human behavior (a drunk man arguing with an invisible cab driver; a professor misunderstanding basic physics) - "Family Secrets": A courtroom comedy where a maid describes dressing her employer's hair, with a barrister's suggestive questioning implying impropriety - A $10,000 novel-writing contest advertisement **The jokes** reflect early 20th-century concerns: drunkenness, gender propriety, and pseudointellectual pomposity. The "Family Secrets" piece plays on Victorian anxieties about servants and their employers' private lives. This is representative **general-interest humor and commerce**, not political commentary.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
AT LAST!! A Gasoline Gauge for automcbiles that is accurate and dependable—up hill, down hill, on side list, and on the hottest and coldest days. Shows at a glance the amount of Too Imaginative gasoline in the tan! rk. Mactsteate: And what was the pris Ghe oner doin, Constante: 'E were ‘aving a very a TV $7 50 Yeated argument with a cab driver, yer e worship. Brass or Nickel Macistrate: But that doesn’t prove Finish he was drunk. Gasoline Gauge Constante: Ah! But there wern't no (Ansan te es Dee) cab driver there, yer worship. SOME OF ITS MANY ADVANTAGES. —London Opinion No moce Dry Tanks miles from Garage. Detects Leaky Tanks immediately. Hendon: Opinian No ‘more pullaig up cushions to tun Shows instantly amount of gasoline that goes . ‘measuring stick into tank into tank and amount bring consumed per mile Density ‘As dependable as your watch and will not get out of order. “Do you believe love makes the world Pull directions for tnstalling sent twtth each gauge. go round, professor?” Supphed at present for the 1912 and 1913 “Abem! Of course not. The earth Ford, Overland, Buick, E. M. F., and the 1913 Studebaker. di jon ow If for other cars, send us name, model and year, and we will notify you if we can supply first acquired its rotary motion when you. Not made at present fr care having preiure tanks, your dealer cannot fener! thrown off from the sun in a nebulous You. we will, direct, on receipt of price. Catalog No. 3, giving full particulars, vet free. form, its centrifugal force being counter- acted to a certain extent by the superior C. F. ROPER & CO., Hopedale, Mass. attraction of the solar body from which it originally emanated.” —Birmingham Age-Herald. : sit deealaca Family Secrets “Come right on in, Sambo,” the farm- The case had reached a critical stage. er called out. “He won't hurt you. Even the judge’ seemed to awaken to a ‘You kaow'a batking dog néver bites” live interest in the proceedings, for the “Sure, boss, ah knows dat,” replied most important witness was about to be the cautious colored man, “ but ah don’t cross-examined. “So you are the lady's know how soon he's going to stop bark- maid?” began the relentless barrister. in'."—Success Magazine. “Yes, sir.” “And where were you at = : seven o'clock on the evening in ques- Mixed with water Calox forms peroxide of >” «Twas in my lady's. room, hydrogen, the only known substance that will 7 d y know 3 or “lw. whiten the teeth without injury. jing my lady's hair, sir.” The bar- All Druggists, 25 Cents CALIFORNIA CANDIES rister leaned forward and spoke slowly Supt tnd Sate foot oerepuest A THEY RE DIFFERENT aed impresively, “Now, ibink,?” he McKESSON & ROBBINS, NEW YORK Ash for the Calo Tooth Brushy Be. said, “T want you to be very careful in ——_—— More Than a Pound For a Dollar answering this question: Was or was Almost Philanthropic “Do you really believe, doctor, that your old medicines actually keep any- body alive?” ‘asked the sceptic. returned the doctor. “My prescriptions have kept three druggists To secure a new story of such strength and their families alive in this town tor an OU and striking originality that it will take twenty sears,” —Liepincotts ° ic s y usil rank among next season's best sellers, we || avec, Sammie of vier by malls cia amos ae ‘ll CL We Abbott & Co., Baltimore! Write a ‘wil pay Jepor: Now, 1 don't expect 10 see $10,000 Cash "purus: Not see me here again, Judge? Why, yo’ all ain't a-goin’ to $10 000 for the best manuscript submitted to us by Dugue resign yo’ job, is you, Judge ?—Tit-Bits. 5) 31,1913. This offer is open to everybody. e excellence of the story alone will decide the Novel? = The novel chosen by our committee of judges —all well-known literary men—will be imme- diately published and extensively advertised. Write today for details of this $10,000 offer. THE REILLY & BRITTON CO. 1006 S. Michigan Avenue, Chicago Delivered Anywhere by Parcels Post Pad Fae ene eres JRC NE toon: at the Orange Blossom Inc. San Francisco a g “ SOMETHING THE MATTER WITH HIS HEART, POOR cHaP! IT BEATS AWFULLY HARD.” comicbooks.com