Life, 1913-03-06 · page 40 of 72
Life — March 6, 1913 — page 40: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**The Main Cartoon ("The Paster Uplift"):** Shows a man literally leaping away from chairs and furniture, captioned as "The Paster Uplift." This appears to satirize the contemporaneous "Uplift" movement—reformers and intellectuals promoting cultural and moral improvement. The joke seems to mock how these enthusiasts were energetically, almost chaotically, pushing their agenda. **"Home and Us" Section:** Contains satirical commentary on intellectual pretension. A fictional Professor von Prognoss claims that Roman elevators prove America's imminent decline—absurd logic meant to mock pseudo-intellectuals who draw sweeping conclusions from trivial evidence. The follow-up joke about the "turkey trot" (a contemporary dance) being danced in Rome to calculate civilization's remaining days further ridicules academic overreach. **Advertisement:** The "Prime Cast Milliner" ad shows a shop window, with a caption "Well, anyway, mamie, we've got plenty o' hair"—likely a period joke about fashion or hairpieces. **Musical Calendar:** Simply lists upcoming classical music performances in New York (Carnegie Hall, Metropolitan Opera House, etc.)—practical entertainment information for readers.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE PASTER UPLIFT Language OW strange and wonderful, all life and death Held in the compass of one word, all joy And all despair, all loveliness and hope, All passion and all pain—yes, ev'ry throb Of a mad heart that beats too fast and cries For bliss beyond this world, a heart that breaks By its own white intensity—one word, Three little linkéd letters breathing all The spirit’s ecstasy, the soul’s desire: Three linkéd letters branded like blue flame Of ev'ry wish and deed—on all the days And all the nights till nights shall cease to be, The meaning and the symbol of the thrill Of life that dreams so high and greatly—— You! Leolyn Louise Everett, Home and Us A recent cable dispatch ‘from Rome declared that, Professor Boni, who has been exe in the Palaces of the Cxsars, has discovered that the Roman emperors employed elevators to ascend from the Forum to the Palatine Hill.—Newspaper Waif. ROFESSOR PILLSDECK VON PROGNOSS, upon see- ing the dispatch, shook his head gravely. “This only gocs to prove what I have long contended,” he observed, brushing away an unbidden tear, “that the American Republic is doomed. To my far-sceing mind this is only another link in the great chain of evidence.” Psychological circles were equally. stirred. “Only one thing remains now,” declared Professor Strut- ter, of Harvard. “If it can be demonstrated that the turkey trot was danced in Rome, then we shall be able to calculate with some degree of certainty just how many days longer our effete civilization will last.’ Answer to Rebus in Last Week's Life HE ticker draws money from men and women in all degrees of life. Life’s Musical Calendar Tuesday, March 4, Carnegie Hall (Afternoon).—Joint re- cital by Eugene Y violinist, and Rudolph Ganz, pianist. Aeolian Hall (Exening).—Fifth concert of the Kneisel Quartet, assisted by Mr. Clarence Adler, pianist Wednesday, March Metropolitan Opera House.— Humperdinck’s popular fairy’ opera, “ Kinigskinder.” Aeolian Hall (Evening).—Concert by Mr. Arthur Whiting and the University Quartet, ‘Thursday, 6, Metropolitan O noon).—Benefit performance of Otienbach’s fouse (After- es of Hoff- Evening).—Verdi’s It n music-drama, “ Aida.” egie Hall (Evening)—A programme of unusual in- terest presented by the Philharmonic Socicty: Tschaikowsky’s Violin Concerto played by Miss Maude Powell, a manuscript symphony composed by Fritz Stahlberg, a member of the orchestra, and Saint-Saéns’s great symphony for orchestra and organ, generally considered his masterpiece. Friday, March 7, Metropolitan Opera House.—Second per- formance ‘of Damrosch’s “Cyrano,” the latest product of the American operatic school Saturday, March 8 Metropolitan Opera House (After- noon).—Conventional week-end matinee, answering the in- sistent demands of popular taste Carnegie Hall (Afternon).—Piano recital by Leopold Go- dowsky: A programme consisting entirely of Chopin's com- positions, played by an acknowledged technician of the first rank, Acolian Hall (Afternoon).—Piano recital by Max Pauer, Jerman representative of the classical school of virtuosity. Evening).—Piano recital by Mary Pinney, a lady as yet known, but evidently willing to challenge comparisons. Sunday, March 9, Metropolitan Opera House-—The usual concert crumbs of Sabbath consolation dropped by the Metro- politan song-birds for the benefit of ordinary mortals. Carnegie Hall (Afternoon).— he Philharmonic Orchestra, with a solo by Leo Schulz, ‘cellist, and Tschaikowsky’s hack: neyed but popular “ Pathé symphony. Acolian Hall (Afternoon).—The New York Symphony Society presenting Tschaikowsky’s fourth symphony and a group of songs sung by John McCorm Monday, March to, dcolian Hall ( cert of the season by the Flonzaley Qu the little vening).—Last con- | | Pee “WELL, ANYWAY, MAMIE, WE'VE GOT PLENTY 0’ HAIR comicbooks.com