Life, 1913-03-06 · page 23 of 72
Life — March 6, 1913 — page 23: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This satirical piece mocks King Alphonso XIII of Spain's reported reluctance to visit America, claiming he feared insufficient ceremony for royalty. Life's rebuttal argues American bureaucracy—customs officials, hotel staff, room clerks, theater ticket scalpers, and utility companies—provides abundant "red tape" to satisfy any monarch's dignity. The humor lies in inverting expectations: rather than American simplicity disappointing a king, Life suggests American commercial formality (hotels assigning poor rooms, scalpers controlling tickets) actually mirrors royal pretension. The piece satirizes both Spanish monarchy and American business pomposity simultaneously. The "Easter Sunday" cartoon above shows a woman leaving for church, humorously depicting modern religious practice as social rather than spiritual. The bottom contains an unresolved rebus puzzle, with the answer promised in next week's issue—a common Life magazine feature engaging readers.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
4 You Won't Be Disappointed, Alphonso HE recent report that King Alphonso of Spain was coming to this country has been denied, on the ground that it would be unpleasant for him to visit a land where everything is so simple, and where the proper cere- monies that “do hedge a King” could not be preserved. We believe that Alphonso has been misinformed. We believe that if he should come over here to see us and do about as the rest of us are doing, he would still feel that there was enough red tape and ceremony to accord with his proper dignity as a King. For example, before Alphonso could land he would have to go through the Custom House. If he thinks that he would be too unimportant, this idea would soon be taken out of him when he came up against some of the highly caparisoned gentlemen in the employ of Uncle Sam. He would then proceed to one of our fashionable hotels. If Alphonso thinks that the high groom of the royal bed chamber and the first lord of the Albanian treasury are high personages at home, he would have to tune up his mind somewhat when he was taken in charge by the head waiter at this hotel. Then consider his feelings after he had about fifteen minutes’ conversation with the room clerk, after he had negotiated for the bridal suite on the second floor and been told that he would have to be satisfied with a hall bedroom in the attic. Having made these arrangements, he would then prob- ably attempt to get seats at one of our local theatres. After some kind friend, in the shape of an American magnate, had given him a letter of introduction to the speculator who has charge of the theatre tickets, he might get a new sense of his kingly prerogatives when he had been duly subjected to the negotiations of this high per- sonage and his supernumeraries, what an exalted sense of his own importance he would have when he was landed at last in a rear seat under the dark shadow of the gal- lery behind the corrugated gold post. Or, possibly, Alphonso would like to get a taste of suburban life. We would recommend him to hire a house in the country, open negotiations with a gas company or a water company to get the gas and water meters put in; possibly by this time Alphonso would realize that the busi- DON \ keg Oe MSS MAY PEACHY (THE ANSWER TO THIS REBUS “LTRE WILL BE PUBLISHED IN NEXT WEEK'S LIFE.) EASTER SUNDAY “GOOD-BY, DEAR. ILL BE HOME RIGHT AFTER CHURCH.” “GooD-BY, MOTHER, 1 HOPE GOD'LL LIKE YOUR NEW HAT.” ness of running a small and effete monarchy in the south- west corner of Europe was, as George Ade might say, a lead-pipe cinch. After he had been with us about a week or so, and the strain of dignity was beginning to tell on him, it is Cs comicbooks.com