Life, 1913-02-27 · page 12 of 40
Life — February 27, 1913 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two satirical pieces about American cities. The top illustration, "The Devil Hates Holy Water," depicts a demonic figure recoiling from a church, likely commenting on urban moral decay or religious hypocrisy in American cities. The main article, "Your United States" by an unsigned author, humorously compares American cities—particularly New York, Boston, Chicago, and Indianapolis. The author describes arriving in New York by ship (the *Lusitania*) and encountering culture shock, including mistaking a policeman for President Taft. The bottom cartoon shows two men at what appears to be a ship or dock, with one saying Yale looks better than Harvard—a lighthearted jab at Ivy League rivalry and American snobbery about prestigious institutions. The overall tone mocks American parochialism and urban pretension.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE DEVIL HATES HOLY WATER Your United States RY A-N-LD Net (The First Impressions of a Reader) I SAT with a melting ice on my plate, and together we tried to delude the reader into thinking the opening York restaurant. But no; it taking me to Amer- But the boat t ene was laid in a Nes was laid on the Lusitania, which was ica! Inconceivable adventure! I thought is taking other people, too.” That was the hardest pa to realize. I landed. I was slung across town in a taxi. In the middle of the street I saw a man of bulk, flashing authority. “Is that President Taft?” I inquired. “No. That is a policeman.” Impossible to believe! Now I knew that I was in a great city. I had made friends with Broady I liked your New York! I had arrived!) Whew! II. I have seen Indianapoiis. I have also seen Chicago, and one or two other plac There is a difference be- tween Indianapolis and Chicago, as subtle as that between “LLP E« London and one of the Five Towns, or between and another of the Five Towns. Chicago has an anxious soul. In Chicago (or was it Indianapolis?) they turned a r completely round in order to drain into it! Fancy that! Some man must have jumped out of bed one morn- riz ing and cried, “ Turn the river round!" and been laughed at by people who answered, “Go back to bed! No, only led! a dazzling conception of drainage you will not find in the Five Towns. Such half way round!” Yet he succes For a minute or two I saw Boston. Boston is distine- tive for three reasons, all of which I have invented my- self. One of these is that Boston is complete. Boston is; whereas New York will be, Chicago may be, Jersey City might have been and Philadelphia used to b I do not propose to include the Five Towns in this classification. I have run out of tenses: that is all! Ml I hate statistics. I cannot understand them, for IT am only an author. I frequently exaggerate them. But when my friends put into my hands (in the carpeted room of a gigantic majestic palace of cornices) a trifling block of metal, no bigger than a fish or a book about the Five Towns, and said, “ That will make toast for six million people in half a second, or light the whole city of Indian- apolis (or Cambridge) for fifty billion years,” I was en chanted. . . . I could be but perplexed. .*. . I was tempted to say, “ This—this is your New York But I did not, for it was not. And, besides, I could write all that later, and sell it for a magical, an unbeliev- able price! Then I came away, feeling that I understood New York, because I had seen its cornices, and looked over its power-house, and overlooked much else. I sa “ANYWAY, MY REASON FOR LIKING YALE IS BETTER LOOKING THAN YOUR REASON FOR LIKING HARVARD.” comicbooks.com