Life — February 20, 1913 — page 40: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LIFE: or Increase Your Weight — Perfect Your Figure Become my pupil and I will make you my friend. Devote fifteen minutes daily to my system and you can weigh what Nature intended. You can reduce any part of your figure burdened with superfluous flesh or build up any part that is undeveloped. The effect. cf my system can be concentrated on your hips, waist, limbs or any other portions of your body. My system tends to make a figure perfectly pro- portioned throughout—a full, rounded neck; shapely shoulders, arms and legs; a fine, fresh complexion; good carriage with erect poise and grace of movement. You Can Improve Your Health My system stimulates, reorganizes and r partes the entire body. Tt helps transform the food into good ricl ich blood. Ie strengthens other organs, eettien al all weaknesses and iting vital force. ‘The Body Beautiful.” should b: read by every roman and I will send itto you fre it iageat the fallacy that lack of beauty or health cannot be avoided. In it | explain how ‘every woman can be VIGOROUS, HEALTHY and ATTRACTIVE. have practised what I teach. In childhood I puny and deformed. I have overcome all weaknesses by my own natural drugless methods. Millions of people have seen in mea living dems ‘onstration of my ier] ue system of health culture ‘and body building. weak, nervous, fat, tide, anchepis, fret, ching vicakiy or in eng other respect not at your very best, 1 can surely be of service to you. ty” Guarantee ———— With m Rie beaks ¢ Body Beautiful.” which is ‘ie with photographs of myself explaining my system. 1 give full partic ulars of my Guarantee Trial Plan, whereby you can test the value of my instruction without Fishing 0 sdngle penay. Send two-cent stamp for “The Body Beautiful” and Trial Plan to-day. ANNETTE KELLERMANN Suite 903! 12 W. 3lat Street, New York Odd Humor When Lord Holland was on his death- bed his friend, George Selwyn, called to inquire how his Lordship was, and left his card. This was taken to Lord Hol- land, who said: “If Mr. Selwyn calls again, show him into my room. If I am alive, I shall be glad to see him; if I am dead, I am sure that he will be de- lighted to see me.” The Hat A MOST HEROICKAL BALLAD It was a Gallant blithe and gay That walked the City Street; The Street, ywot, was hight “ The Gallant, “ Master Willi He sought an Inn, yclept “C Because he wished to cat. He swung the Door with mickle Joy And entered in thereat, When came a Little Blackguard Boy With Buttons all of Brass Alloy, Which, much to Master Gray's Annoy Essayed to Check his Hat. The pretty Hat! ‘twas made of Fur, It bore a Ribband Bow; "Twas soft and smooth as Miniver; ‘That gentle Hat it seemed to purr; And Master Gray with strong Demur Refused to let it go. “Thou shalt not have the Hat, pardee! That rests upon my Brow; A Hat it is of High Degree, I've worn it both by Land and Sea, And in its Youth it sheltered me, And I'll protect it now!” Yet strove that Boy with Might and Main And showed a Screed of Rules Where “Check your Hat!” was written plain Established 1188 Carstairs Rye Rick Blend of Pure Whiskies Protection, the Monarcl "THE extremely light action aj of the Monarch Typewriter endears it to all operators who use it. The typist who takes pride in her position finds great satisfaction in being able to turn out as much work, and as good work, per hour, toward the end of the working day as during the morning. Other conditions being the same, she can always do this on a Monarch. There is ‘*No Three O’Clock Fatigue’”’ for users of this machine, The mechanical reason for the Monarch light touch is found in the action of the Monarch type bar, an exclusive and patented feature which gives this re- markably light touch. We would remind the business man that Monarch light touch means more work and better work, because less physical strength is expended by the operator. Therefore, cost per folio is reduced, mak- ing the Monarch a business economy. SEND FOR MONARCH LITERATURE Then try the Monarch, and be convinced that Monarch merit rests in the machine itself, not merely in what we tell you about it. Monarch Department Remington Typewriter Company (Incorporated) New York and Everywhere All Guests must drink Cham pagne.” Master Gray in High Disdain, h Laws are made for Fools!” “Thou'dst check my hat, forsooth?—I know Right well the ‘why’ and ‘ whence "!— That when I boun myself to go Thou'dst’ brush it hard, mon beau chapeau, And smirk, and smile, and lout full low To cozen me of Pence!” But now the Host a strong Array Of Waiters mustered there, Which muttered, “Lout!" and “ Coun- try Jay!” comicbooks.com