Life — January 23, 1913 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

makes an ideal appetizing t samp! agcts.in stamps. C. W. Abbott & Co., Baltimore, Md. Useless to Try Needing some ribbon one day, while in a very small Southern town, we went to the one store there. “Ribbon?” questioned the _ store- keeper. “ Well, we-all just mislaid our stock of ribbons, but if you-all come back later, I'll see if I can find them.” So back we went later. He had found them. “What color did you-all want?” “Blue,” we replied. “Oh, blue!” he exclaimed in disgust. “We haven't got any blue. Blue is so popular’ we don't even try to keep it.” —Harper’s Magazine. Man's Dual Nature The professorial mind for.all its acute- ness is liable to occasional lapses, like less highly trained intellects. A certain professor was struggling to make the point that both parents have an equal influence upon a child. “ For,” he continued, gravely, “a man is as much the son of his father as he is the daughter of his mother.” —Youth’s Companion, Wanted No Amateurs Edith and Flora were spending their summer vacation in the country. “Do you know,” said Edith, “that young farmer tried to kiss me. He told me that he had never kissed any girl before.” “What did you tell him?" asked Flora. “Why,” replied Edith, “I told him I was no agricultural experiment station.” —Harper’s Bazar. ful of Abbott's Bitters with your Grape Fruit le of bitters by mail, 3-in-One promotes piety by pre- venting razor dullness. It’s the orig- inaland only Anti-Swear Shaving Oil. Lather moisture is bound to collect in the minute razor blade “teeth.” Moisture causesrust. Rust causes dullness. Dull- ness causes profanity. Prevent all three evils and have perfect shaves! Do this: Draw your “‘or- dinary” or “' safety” blade between thumb and finger moistened with 3-in-One. Strop—and have keenest shaving edge ever. After shavin , oil blade again. Don’t Scoff ! TRY 3:!N-ONE FREE! Write to-day for generous free sample and scientific “Razor Saver" circular—beth free. Sold everywhere in 3-tize bottles: 1 oz. (10¢.), 3-07. (25¢.) of., 34 pint (yw). iso in patent Handy Oil Can, 334 02. (aed “fe"your “deaier hasn't this can, we'll send it prepaid, fuil of 3-in-One, for 3oc. in stamps. THREE-IN-ONE OIL CO. 42 CVR Broadway, New York City | | | | Give your ebeeks the ih bi it health. El Perfecto V se ATEN SPREE RETURNE Send sketch for free search of Patent Office Records. How to Obtain a Patent and What to lnvest with list of Inventions wanted nts advertised fee. and prizes ofered for laventions sent free. Ington, D. C. VICTOR J. EVANS & CO., W: HAS STOOD THE TEST OF AGES AND IS STILL THE FINEST CORDIAL EXTANT At first-class Wine Merchants, Grocers, Hotels, Cafes. Batjer & Co.. 45 Broadway, New York, N.Y. Sole Agents for United States. oN ANANNANNANAN ALANNA SNNNNNNNNANNNS: 214 A Reason for Rising The late Dr. Kendall Brooks, presi- dent of Kalamazoo College, in address- ing a class of teachers, related the following as one of his most interesting experiences in teaching a district school : “My school was large and my salary small, but in order to lessen my expenses I was allowed to board round among my patrons. One night I went to board with a family who sent eight children to school. That meant twenty-four days at that place, as I was compelled to board three days in a place for each pupil sent from there. I did not find things in this home as pleasing as in my father’s house; but I was young and found it not hard to make allowances. On my first morning there I was roused from my slumbers, long before the sun had begun to make the cast rosy, by a gentle knock at my bedroom door. “What is it?’ I asked drowsily, “*Gidup, teacher! Gidup!’ a piping voice, which I recognized as little Tom- my’s, replied. “‘Is breakfast ready?’ coming interested. “*Not yit, but will be soon,’ was the reply; and the little feet were heard to trip down the stairs. “The bed was soft and warm, but the room was very cold; so I concluded to snooze a little longer. “Presently another knock roused me and an older voice said: “*Say, teacher, you really must get up right off! Ma wants that clean sheet for a tablecloth.’ “T hesitated no longer, but rolled out of bed and dressed. When I got to the dining room I found that the sheet was already doing duty as a tablecloth.” —Saturday Evening Post. I asked, be- Cultivating the Fork Alfred Gwynne Vanderbilt, dressed after the best English manner in a black, tight, long-tailed morning coat, dark trousers, gray topped boots, and a silk hat worn at a rakish backward angle, discussed at the horse show his project of living part of the time abroad. shouldn't’ one live a lot he said. “They are not so bad over there. In dress, in books, in plays, in music—really, you know, in nearly everything they are not so bad. I fear we underrate them. I fear we are all too prone to regard the foreigner as he is regarded in the story of Count Sans Terre. “‘Why, count,’ cried a friend, ‘look at your face! Such rapier cuts! Don't you know that dueling is going out of fashion?’ “*T have not been duclling,’ growled the count. ‘It's my American wife. She makes me cat with a for! —New York Tribune. Earthly Punishment The way of the transgressor is well written up—Kansas City Journal. Caron! Bitters. The best by test. Send 25 cents for trial bottle with patent dasher—you'll not be disappointed. {CNSSXNKRNANSNNNSNSNNNANN | Oct. Co Blache & Co., 78 Broad St., New York, G "1 Distrs. Dantas in wh For other: Ov cara We man We body’ has f holst Th brou Th first ¢ And wide comicbooks.com