Life, 1913-01-16 · page 34 of 40
Life — January 16, 1913 — page 34: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page mixes advertisements and humor typical of Life magazine's satirical format. The main content is a large book advertisement for Woodrow Wilson's "History of the American People" (five volumes), promoting it as living history that surpasses fiction. The smaller items are satirical pieces: "The Grateful Patient" jokes that a doctor's cure only enabled the patient to walk to bankruptcy court—mocking both medical bills and financial ruin. "The Versatile Kaiser" sarcastically praises German Emperor Wilhelm II for choreographing ballets, comparing him unfavorably to Bach and noting his previous ballet "Sardanapale" failed despite expense—satirizing imperial pretension and wasted resources. A dog cemetery joke plays on wordplay about "curled tails." The page also includes Krementz collar button advertisements and brief advice columns. The satire reflects early 20th-century American attitudes: skepticism toward both medical costs and imperial European excess.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
LIFE: The Grateful Patient “This doctor is thoroughly compe- tent. I can really thank him for restor- ing me to life and health. “When he took charge of my case I could move neither hand nor foot, and six months later, after he had syed me for the bill, I was able to walk to court and declare myself bankrupt.” —Fliegende Blatter. Country Places ay At Greenwich, Conn. Refer to Raymon mpson yy, 1. Tho: i ‘Or Chester Montgomery Tet ob Cree een Racing, AS Suppressing a New Author To the author of “A Plain American in England.” ‘Sir-—Ater reading your book I gave it away, but my wife mid she wanted to read it, and ‘made me buy another. Tcould find it. "The book trust is suppressing your work; get the Irish members busy. Joun Carnot n discover ¢, bookseller stuck witha Page & Co,, Garden City, N Some one asked Diogenes at what time of life he had best marry? “If you are young,” he replicd, “not yet; if you are old, never.” Ve Collar “ollar Buttons <i are worn by men who know, because itif you ‘Doubleda: they are perfect in finish, and made in shape and size to suit every need. Un- breakable in wear. A new one free in ex- change for any Krementz Collar Button broken or damaged from any cause. Look for the name KREMENTZ on the back and be sure to get the genuine, Atleading jewelers and haberdashers KREMENTZ & CO. 160 Chestnut Street, Newark, N. J Largest manufacturers of high grade Jewelry inthe world. The Versatile Kaiser On January 27, which is the birth- day of the German Emperor, there will be performed in Berlin a new ballet, “Corfu,” which has the dis- tinction of being arranged and pro- duced by His Majesty himself. It is said to have been inspired by some peasant dances which William saw in Greece last spring. The costumes and ornaments are to be imported directly from Corfu, at great expense. Some years ago the versatile Kaiser produced another ballet, entitled “ Sar- danapale,” which, however, was a complete failure, in spite of the great sums of money spent upon its elabo- rate presentation; which only goes to prove that Hohenzollern blood and the divine right of kings do not neces- sarily produce a master of stage-craft. Wasn't it Bach who said of a certain tune composed by Frederick the Great that it was “pretty good—for a king?” “WHAT'S THE MATTER, BUDDY, AREN’T PUG DOGS WEARING THEIR TAILS CURLED ANY MORE? “1 WAS PASSING THE DOG CEMETERY LAST NIGHT AND THE FRIGHT I GOT WHEN I SAW A GHOST TOOK ALL THE CURL oUt.” A HISTORY OF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE (In Five Volumes) By ¢ WOODROW WILSON NLY those who have heard President Wilson speak can imagine faintly the brilliancy of his writings. It makes history living, it revivifies the past like a great drama, it paints in gorgeously colored words the epochs in our career, it is more fascinating than any novel. He tells the story of our people, of their struggles, their hopes, their progress. It is distinctly a human history, giving preference always to man rather than to documents, to deeds rather than to theories. It rivals the strongest fiction in point of rapid action, it is as dramatic as a play, and withal it has the accuracy acquired by a quarter of a century of scholarly research and painstaking study. In addition to the many maps, portraits, and rare MARPER & BROTHERS Franklin Square New York Gentlemen: Please send me, all charges prepaid. A HIS- TORY OF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE, Five Volumes, Cloth Binding, subject to ten days" ap- proval, and also enter my subscrip- Una to both HARPER'S MAGAZINE and HARPER'S BAZAR for one year, for which I toclose $1.00 and agree to tend you $1.00 a moath until the total rice, $12.00, ts paid. If the bocks are ace cepted by me. prints, the work is rich in illus- trations contributed by How- ard Pyle, Frederic Reming- ton, H. C. Christy, F. C. Yohn, and others of world-wide reputation. To read the first page is to read the five volumes. Lit (4619 Harper & Brothers Adbrite WE NOW OFFER ‘We will send you the entire set of five volumes, ail charges pre- paid, on receipt of $1.00, and enter your name asa subscriber for both Iaxrer’s MAGAZINE. and Maxren’s Bazar for one year,at no additional cost to you. If you do not like the books when they reach you, send them back at our expense and we will return the $1.00. If you do like them send ns $1.00 every month for eleven months. P.S.—Varrer'’s Weexcy may be substituted for Han- Pen's MAGAZINE. comicbooks.com