Life, 1913-01-02 · page 28 of 44
Life — January 2, 1913 — page 28: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two satirical pieces about American politics, likely from early 1913 (based on the "1913" reference). **"On Life's Wire"** depicts a telephone conversation between Life magazine and the personified "New Year 1913." The New Year boasts of installing a new President in March—a reference to Woodrow Wilson's inauguration (March 4, 1913). The joke mocks Wilson's vague promises ("make things interesting") and Life's editorial eagerness to support him despite demanding nothing concrete. The satire suggests both politicians and publications speak in platitudes. **"Victory! Victory!"** ridicules labor reform through the "Great Statesman," who celebrates passing a minimum wage bill—but reveals it was watered down from "minimum" to "maximum" wage. This reversal means employers can now legally cap wages at two dollars, the opposite of the intended protection. The satire exposes how political "victories" become pyrrhic when compromised by opposition, leaving workers worse off while politicians claim triumph. Both pieces mock political rhetoric and the gap between stated intentions and actual outcomes.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
On Life’s Wire we 'ELLO, Lire?” Yes. To whom have we the honor of speaking?” “ This is 1913.” “Oh, the New joll; You got you? 6 “Oh, yes. I've been on the road an tunconscionably long time, but I’m here at last and, for the most part, I en- joyed the trip.” “And did the inaugural ceremonies go off all right?” “Without a hitch. On the stroke of twelve to the very dot. It was a bit noisy, and er—may I say, Lire—a bit bibulous, but what of that? The New Year comes but @ year, you kno “Quite so. Well, it’s good to hear your voice, and it’s exceedingly kind of you to call us up so promptly. Won't you drop around and have some thing?” ‘0, thank you, I've sworn off.” “What! So soon? Well, well, a little later perhaps. You must be pretty busy gathering up the frayed ends of things.” “Yes. Pretty busy. The whole of the future is before me.” “ Well, we appreciate your calling us, anyway.” “Don’t mention it, Lire. To tell the truth, Iam not entirely unselfish in the matter.” eh? How right, did Year, here all once Why, what do you mean? Frankly, Lire, | want your good I want you to support my ad- istration.” “Oh, certainly, er—that is, as long as you—that is, you see—well, to tell the truth, we can't make any outright promises. Have you any plans?” “Nothing very definite, Lire My principal aim is to make things inter- esting. To that end, I'm going to put in a new President in March. That ought to help things considerably. I hope he'll turn out all right, but, good or bad, he will be interesting for a while. That's the main thing.” “Yes. That's the main thing. We shall eagerly help all we can along that line, old chap.” “T know you will, Lire. ways interesting yourself. You are al- LIFE’S VAUDEVILLE THE NEXT NUMBER “Tut! flattery.” “That's not flattery. goods.” “Oh, well. Don't try to bribe us with It's straight rm.” net be a candidate for a second “What's that. Do you mean it?” “T mean it.” “Is it irrevocable?” “ Absolutely.” “In that case, we'll support you no matter what happens.” “Oh, thank you, Lire. You have lifted a great load off my mind. Good- by” “So long.” E. 0. J. Victory! Victory! E have won,” announced the Great Statesman, a smile of satisfaction breaking over his rugged features. “The bill establishing two dollars as the legal wage for every man, woman and child in industry has been passed. Once more the battle is with the People. It is true that, owing to a determined opposition on the part of our opponents, we were obliged to substitute the word ‘maximum’ for the word ‘minimum’—thus making two dollars the maximum instead of the minimum wage, but aside from this it was a tremendous triumph— simply tremendous.” comicbooks.com