Life, 1912-12-26 · page 19 of 41
Life — December 26, 1912 — page 19: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains satirical commentary on three topics: **"Widows"** section: A tongue-in-cheek essay advising men on marrying widows, humorously suggesting widows are "born" to the role and counseling men to marry widows from out of town (where the deceased husband is unknown) to avoid unfavorable comparisons. **"Manners Make a Difference"** cartoon: References Governor Cole Blease of South Carolina, who apparently defied the state Constitution. The joke satirizes how polite society accepts constitutional violations if performed with good manners—comparing it to inserting a hatpin in someone's heart "so long as the assailant's manners are good." It's political satire criticizing performative civility masking serious wrongdoing. **"Peace, Be Up and Doing!"** section: Cynical commentary on the Emperor of Russia's peace proposals, listing recent wars (Russo-Japanese, Boer War, Spanish-American, etc.) to argue that despite peace rhetoric, conflict pervades every level of society—between capital and labor, husbands and wives, even imagination versus materialism. The overall tone is satirical pessimism about human nature and society.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
‘LIFE: Widows EVERY little widow has a meaning all her own. The idea that wid- ows are made, not born, is a mistake. Every widow is born to be a widow. Marriage only fits her for her occu- pation. Some widows are widows only oc- casionally; others pursue widowhood as a permanent vocation; they are not really happy unless they are grieving over some deceased husband. There is a peculiar joy about loving a widow which can only be defined by the initiated. With the right kind of a widow, innocence and modesty have only been intensified, while experience has been added to both, and romance and sympathy enfold one like a mantle. Never, however, marry a widow from your own home town; always take one at a distance. No widow is without power save in her own coun- try. It is better, also, in marrying a widow not to have known her husband. It is always hard to describe a perfect man to one who knows him. A widow maketh the heart glad, she Justice of the Peace: GLAD TO SEE YOU AGAIN, WIDDER. A. STRANGER sheddeth joy in the waste places and causeth the home to echo peace and contentment. This is especially true if she be a wealthy widow and owncth the home in her own right. This being the case, do not attempt te take it away from her. Be happy in using it in her name. Always, indeed, make a point to live within the income of the widow you marry, Remember, that her former husband has worked hard to put you where you are. Manners Make a Difference T HE picture of Governor Cole Blease defying the Constitution in the House of Governors caused more amusement than consternation, Gov- ernor Blease, being an ass, invited the Constitution to go to hell. More polite persons take off their hats to it, and insert a hatpin in the region of its heart. Not much is made of that so long as the assailant’s manners are good. YE’RE QUITE He: AW, DARLING, MAY 1 BE YOUR CAPTAIN AND GUIDE YOUR BARK DOWN THE SEA OF LIFE? The widow: No; BUT YOU CAN BE MY SECOND MATE. Peace, Be Up and Doing! wir not declare peace? Since the idea of peace was adver- tised by the Emperor of Russia sev- eral years ago we have had wars be- tween Japan and Russia, between South Africa and England, between America and Spain, between Mexico and herself, between Italy and Turkey, and now there is one between the Balkan states and the Turks. All this is purely incidental. In the meantime, capital and labor have always been at war, and so have men and their wives. Time wars against Love and every man is bat- tling with himself. Babies are rav- aged by the medical profession, and ~ the medical profession is at war with truth, Householders are at war with politicians, and art is at war with real- ism. Imagination is fighting in the last ditch against materialism; and delicate fancy and sentiment, still car- rying aloft their silken banners, are bravely keeping up a show of resis- tance. Servants are at war with their mas- ters; and women, between kisses, war with each other. Everything is war. comicbooks.com