Life, 1912-12-26 · page 14 of 41
Life — December 26, 1912 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a satirical theatrical sketch by Quincy Kilby, presented as "An International Imbroglio." The piece features characters named after Balkan locations and ethnic groups (Damascus Persone, Washtub, Cascaret, Masna Offendid) in what appears to be a parody of Balkan political tensions and military conflict. The dialogue mixes absurdist humor with mock-scientific stage directions (referencing medical conditions and theatrical techniques). Below the text is "Cupid's Maze," a visual puzzle game readers could solve. The sketch satirizes European geopolitical instability, particularly in the Balkans—a region of frequent historical conflict—by presenting international tensions as theatrical farce with ridiculous character names and medical pseudo-scientific pseudo-realism.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
ie] FR» The Bivouac in the Basebalkans An International Imbroglio By Quincy Kilby DAMRASCALS PERSONS. Bananaman, a Greek. Washtub, a three-card Montenegrin. Cascaret, a Vulgarian. Waita, a Serviant. Masha Offendid, a Turkish prisoner, severely wounded in the borax. HE scene is laid in Asparagus, a Greece spot on the Phosphorus, overlooking the Darnineedles. The Turkish petrol is heard in the distance. Masua (reading tn his home paper, the ‘Turki Gravi’): Redsox ate, jiance tu. Wasutes (Crossern tu Styx): Cristi mathusun! Cascaret (biggern bilibidam): Mugzi magror! Masna (fanning himself and basely bawling): Arrah musha, Waita (thinking of the serviant girls at home): Gran pianna limousine molasses cool BANANAMAN (kicking the Turk in the interim): Ery: sipelas hocuspocus ignoramus. Encyclopedia Britannica sawdust-arena. Masua (with an expression of pain—as real pain might be injurious to the actor, it is advisable to use cham- pagne): Hurtz likel. Wasutun (killing a flea by the Montessori method of taking them while they are young) : Pinochle monocle bun- galo trollicar. Cascaret (with bulgarious intent): Sausij butcha fisch pedla. Wasutun (turning his back on the audience and speak- ing with his mouth shut, to give the effect of realism): Antiphlogistine! Cascaret (biting his nails. “If he has no nails to bite, the property man must provide tacks): Peninsula propa- ganda assafoctida lobsta. Peroxyda hydrogen. Waita (throwing Standard Oil on the troubled wa- ters) : Isinglas cantelope modus vivendi. Bananaman (Greecily) : Sarcophagus incubus minne- apolus delirius nicodemus. Wasutvs (producing the effect of choler by grasping his necktie): Appendicitis laryngitis bronchitis. - Genesis exodus leviticus. Cascaret (concealing his feelings. If he finds it im- possible to conceal his feclings, let him conceal his feet. The audience will ver know the difference): Sciatica dyspepsia nazimova. Skinni debiliti. Waita (railing at him, Any ordinary balcony railing will do): Crocus alias hippotamus. (4 bum is fired into the camp. IWaita immediately fires him out again.) Ba MAN (dropping his voice, which breaks badly) : Superbas phillis yankis. Hanswagna tycob cyung. Masua (with Thanksgiving. This must be done care- fully, as Thanksgiving generally means death to Turks) : Shiva bokhara kish kelim cashmere barndoor. BANANAMAN Wasutun CascareT Warta (with one accord apiece) : Less nockorf (They march out, singing the native Belascan hymn.) Tout le monde fait cela, Fait cela, fait cela. Tout le monde le fait maintenant. Cupid’s Maze SEE WHAT IT SPELLS A PUZZLE THAT ANY ONE CAN SOLVE. (See page 2542) comicbook! Sry